


Remember Me

by Bladezz070



Series: Remembering the past to see the future [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Mechanic Shep, Memory Loss, Nerd!Kaidan, Slow To Update
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-03-01 16:34:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2780090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bladezz070/pseuds/Bladezz070
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after a fire destroys their small home town, Kaidan finally comes home. The only problem is he doesn't remember what happened before the fire. Not even the person he truly loves. Can Shepard recover Kaidan's memory or is lost forever?</p><p> </p><p>A/N: I have explained this in the 10th chapter, but I feel the need to do it again. I'm doing a rewrite. I no longer enjoy writing this story which means I messed up somewhere along the way. I personally think the build up was bad and it was just poorly executed. I have chapter 1 of the new fic up and hope you all will enjoy it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kaidan looked around the apartment. It was huge and brand new. Ever since the town burned down residence have been scrambling to rebuild. Unfortunately every precious memory had burned with the fire. The only thing he could remember, besides the name of the town, was that he was a teacher at the local high school. He smiled a little. This place seemed so foreign and yet so recognizable.

“Where do you want this?” came a familiar voice. The man was tall, lean and muscular. His hair was short and brown. Kaidan thought his eyes was a beautiful shade of blue. The man looked at him then removed a hand from the box he was holding to wave it in front of Kaidan’s face. “Hellooooo?” Kaidan jarred from his thoughts and shook his head.

“Over there.” He replied pointing to the island facing the balcony doors. The man walked over to the island and carefully placed the box on its surface. “Uh, thank you again for helping me Mr. . .”

“Shepard. John Shepard. My friends call me Mark or Shep.” The man, John, responded. “It’s no big deal. I like helping people new to this town.” Kaidan went to the hallway and brought in another box.

“I’m not new. I’ve lived here for most of my life, I think.” Kaidan straightened up and followed John out into the hallway to get the rest of the boxes.

“You think? You’re not sure?” he asked quite curious.

“I don’t remember much. Just being surrounded by flames then something heavy hitting me in the head. I woke up the next day in a hospital in the neighboring city. Said I was lucky.” Kaidan cringed at the sound of his own voice. It was sad and lonely.

“I see,” was the only response John could give. “That fire was years ago. Why did you wait so long to come back?”

The question took Kaidan by surprise. “I. . . I don’t want to talk about it. Painful memories and such.” Luckily John wasn’t in a hurry to know Kaidan’s past. Kaidan and John moved the rest of the boxes into Kaidan’s new apartment in silence. John said his goodbyes and left Kaidan to his box sorting. Slowly Kaidan started putting things away. He started in the kitchen, putting dishes in the cupboards and towels and dish rags in the drawers.

Next was the bathroom. He began with his toothbrush and toothpaste, putting them in the medicine cabinet. Next was the towels and washrags, stacking them neatly on the shelves of the bathroom closet then shutting the door. By the time he was done the sun was setting, coloring his kitchen and living room a reddish orange hue. He sat down on one of stools his mom had given him. He was exhausted as well as hungry.

He decided after much debate to head to the local diner. He had seen it when he first arrived. If he remembered correctly it was in the same place as the old one. In between the shoe store and the sports store. He got his keys and went down stairs.

 

He smiled when he reached the diner. They built it _exactly_ like the old one same checkerboard tile pattern, same red stools and booths, same juke box. Even the name of the diner was the same, Apollos. He entered the diner and took a seat next to the window. Soon a waitress he recognized came up to him.

“What can I get for you?” She asked. Her smile complimented her blue eyes perfectly as well as her short dark hair. Then her smile grew, her eyes widened. By god she recognized him. “Let me guess steak sandwich with extra onions and green peppers with fries and a Canadian lager?”

“Yes, please. Oh, could you bring me some A-1 sauce please?” Kaidan asked

“Of course, Kaidan. Anything for you.” The waitress walked away. She recognized him and he knew it. Hell she knew his name. He tried his hardest to remember hers. It was just really difficult. He remembered going to high school with her. She transferred from Therum. He remembered sitting behind her in class, talking about how her mother wanted to destroy them all along with the principal. He couldn’t remember her name though.

Finally the woman arrived with his food. “Here you go! I had James throw in some extra fries for you.” Kaidan had to look at her name tag. He didn’t want to but he had to.

“Thanks Liara.” He said. Liara smiled.

“No problem Kaidan.” She replied. Then she turned and walked away. Liara. Liara T’soni. It hit him like a ton of bricks. She worked with him at the high school as a history teacher before the fire. Why was she waitressing? The ting-ding of a bell and a chorus of ‘Hey’s pulled him harshly from his thoughts. He looked in the direction they came from. Sitting at the counter was John and a heavily tattooed woman. The cook came out from the kitchen to talk to them and Liara joined them.

“Don’t look now but I think the new guy is checking you out.” James said.

“New guy? What new guy?” Jack asked she turned her head to look behind John.

“Not you, you halfwit.” James whispered. “I think he’s got his eyes locked on Shepard.” Shepard turned around and saw a staring Kaidan. He smiled and waved at him. In return he got a blush, a small smile and a wave back.

“He’s not new. At least I don’t think.” Shepard stated.

“Of course he’s not new. That’s Kaidan Alenko.” Jack retorted. With that the conversation paused. John and James looked at Jack with wide eyes. Liara nodded in silent agreement.

“Wait if that’s Kaidan, then how come he didn’t remember me?” Shepard asked clearly shocked.

“He remembered me.” Liara countered. Shepard let his mouth hang, as did James. Shepard looked back at Kaidan for a brief second before he heard Jack repeat herself.

“I’m sorry. What?” He asked. Jack’s face contorted in anger.

“I said ‘Close your mouth please Michael. You are not a cod fish.’” Liara, James and Shepard looked at her for a moment before erupting in a chorus of laughter.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Kaidan looked them. The woman was fuming. She looked like she was going to snap their necks in half. She let out a small, low growl then stormed out of Apollo’s. This only fueled the others already intense laughter. Eventually they quieted down and continued their soft conversation. Kaidan gave up on eavesdropping and began to eat is luke-warm meal. Occasionally he saw John look at him, and he would blush. He felt really bad for staring and even worse for eavesdropping. He kept his eyes on his plate as he ate.  


“Do you mind if I sit here?” John asked. Kaidan looked up at him. John chuckled a bit at the sight of A-1 steak sauce dripping from the corner of Kaidan’s mouth. Kaidan shook his head then gestured to the empty seat across from him. John sat his plate down then slid in. John smiled then pointed to the corner of his mouth. “You have a little something. . .” Kaidan’s eyes went wide and he blushed as he took a napkin to wipe it away.  
“Thank you.” He said looking down. There was an intense silence between them. With a sigh Kaidan spoke. “I take it you know me?” The look in John’s eyes said it all.  


“I did. We went to high school together.” He paused a smile slowly forming on his face. “We used to get in trouble together. One time we let my hamster out in the women’s locker room. I’ve never seen Mr. Arterius so mad.” They laughed. Once again neither one spoke. This silence was sad. Kaidan wanting to remember the man in front of him. But not being able to. John remembering things that he once shared with Kaidan. Every secret. Every night. Every prank.  
“You know. . .” a voice started. Both men looked up and saw that it belonged to James who was standing at their table. “I’m throwing a party. You two could come and reminisce with the others.”  


“Thank you for the invite Muscles but I think it would be better for me to remember on my own. It would keep people from adding false memories and what not.” James looked down at Kaidan. He was a little shocked that he and not Shepard had declined his invitation.  


“That’s alright. I get it. You need time and space. Once you get to know the townsfolk I think your memory will hit you like a soccer ball.” James smiled a little toward the end. “I gotta go.” He said at last. “Ash doesn’t like me hangin’ around after my shift.” Kaidan looked up at the clock. Ten o’clock at night.  
“Oh man.” He said getting up. “I didn’t mean to stay this late.” He threw some money on the table and turned to leave. He stopped. “By the way Muscles, the onions wasn’t fully browned.” He said with a smile and then exited the diner. 

Kaidan opened the door to his apartment and flicked on the light. The smell of unopened cardboard boxes filled his nose. He sighed. He still had so much to unpack that it was almost unreal. He threw his keys on the counter and walked towards the bathroom. Slowly, almost tiredly, he peeled off his clothes and stepped into his shower. He ducked his head under the water once he got the temperature right. Once his hair was soaked he reached out and grabbed ahold of his favorite kind of shampoo. Suave naturals Strawberry shampoo and conditioner.  
He loaded some into his hand and began to work the lather into his hair. Once he deemed it had been in there long enough he rinsed it out. He did the same thing for the conditioner. It didn’t take him long to finish his shower and get dressed. After he did, he crawled in between the sheets on his bed and quickly fell asleep.

When Kaidan finally awoke he went into his kitchen and began to rummage around for some breakfast. Unfortunately he had forgotten he hadn’t had time to go to the grocery store. With an irritated sigh he went back to his bedroom to get dressed. He was going to have to hit Apollo’s again, much to his dismay.  
The ting-ding of the bell announced his presence. The place was a little crowded. Two men sat at the counter. One was heavy set, his brown hair turning grey. The other was thin, his brown hair was slicked back but didn’t quite lay down right. Both were in police uniforms. Kaidan half expected to see Liara working again, especially after he saw Muscles in the kitchen, but she was replaced with an Australian sounding brunette. He didn’t see the other brunette until he sat down. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun. Both John and the woman with the tattoos were there too.  
Kaidan sat down at the same booth he did last night. Trying as hard as possible to become invisible. The two police officers watched him sit then looked at John and tattoo girl. The woman got up and strolled over to him. He tensed up a little. He remembered how angry she got with just a little teasing. She didn’t know him. Or that’s what he thought at least.  


“So you’re the infamous Kaidan Alenko?” she asked. Kaidan just nodded. “My name is Jack.” She held her hand out to him. Kaidan looked at her suspiciously. “Don’t be such a pussy.” With her encouragement Kaidan took her hand and shook. “So, did you two bang yet?” The question caused John to spit his coffee all over the diner counter, which in turn caused the two police officers to howl with laughter. Kaidan watched as the thin one pounded quite forcefully on John’s back to get him to breathe.  
“What the hell kind of question is that?” The big one asked.  


“Oh, come on Wrex we all want to know.” Jack countered.  


“Uh, not me man. Once I get an image in my head, I just can’t seem to get it out.” Muscles called from the kitchen.  


“Yeah. Please don’t get that image in his head. I don’t think I can stand him tossing and turning from the nightmare.” Said the brunette with the bun. Eventually they went off on their own tangent about how disturbing the image would be. The Australian took the opportunity to slip by unnoticed and take Kaidan’s order.  


“Sorry about them. What can I get you?” She asked  


“Bacon breakfast burrito and coffee. Black. Please.” Kaidan replied. Kaidan looked at John. He spotted Kaidan looking at him and gave a small apologetic smile and a wave. After eating his breakfast burrito Kaidan paid for his meal, and left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James gets an idea. Uh oh.

James was shocked. That was the only way to describe it. Seeing Kaidan after all these years, left some hard feelings in him. Seeing John breaking down when they said that they hadn't found Kaidan. That his body was most likely a pile of ashes. He had cried with him that day. John had lost a lover but James had lost a friend. He sat like that for a while, his face contorted into a frown. Until Ashley pulled him away from those thoughts. She rested her book on the covers of their bed and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Hey. Are you okay?” She asked. James let out a shaky breath.

“I was just thinking about the fire.” He turned to face her. “The day Anderson told him that Shepard wasn't going to see Kaidan again.” Ashley was silent. “I wonder what this is doing to him? Ya know, seeing Kaidan. It can't be good.” Ashley waited a few seconds, curious if James would continue. When it was obvious that he wasn't she began.

“Honestly, I haven't seen him this happy since then.” 

“When did you see him?” James asked

“He stopped by the house yesterday. He said that Kaidan had come home and that he looked way different.” She explained. James chuckled.

“Yeah, do you remember in high school when he used to be so scrawny?”

“Yeah, we used to compare him to Joker.” 

“He's not that way anymore.” Ashley gave him a look. “He's got a pair of guns on him now.” James flexed. “Not as big as mine though. He could probably take me if he fought dirty. His hair's longer to. Man, I hope he's still the same little nerd we know and love.” 

“James, that fire did a number on us all. He lost all of his memories and moved away. He can't be the same.” She paused picking her next words very carefully. “From the way Shep describes him, there are some things intact. His personality, sense of humor, tastes. You can't fix Kaidan, James. No matter how hard you try, he's not yours to fix.” She put her hand on his cheek. “The only thing you can do, the only thing we can do is to support him and help John jog his memory. He'll remember in time.” 

James nodded. He knew that everyone in town was going to try to do something to help restore Kaidan's memory. Whether it be through pictures or stories, maybe even actions they wanted to help him. James adjusted his pillow back to a resting position and laid on his side. He was quiet for a moment. 

“Tomorrow at lunch, I'll swing by Kaidan's apartment and check up on him. He could probably use my help.” He said at last.

“Be sure to stop at the garage and see if Shepard, Jack and Steve want to help.” Ashley replied. James smiled to himself. That wasn't such a bad idea.

James woke up the next morning feeling really really pumped. It was the day that, without warning and without protest, James was going to help Kaidan out. No matter how many times he would say “I got it” or “Really, you don't have to” James was going to help. With a smile he ran down stairs and got him a bowl of cereal. He was, in a way, racing to finish. Once he was done he put the bowl in the sink and ran back upstairs to grab his uniform and jump in the shower. Once he was dressed, his teeth brushed he grabbed his car keys and practically ran out the door. Ashley watched him rush in quiet amusement.  
James couldn't help that he was a protector.

James parked in his usual parking space at Apollo's and jogged inside. He had just put the coffee on when Liara came in for her shift. She smiled.

“You're awfully exited today James. Is there a special occasion?” She asked her voice calm and soothing as always.

“Nah, just gonna do an old school B&E at Kaidan's. Gonna help him get settled in.” He replied. Liara chuckled. 

“Then I shall leave you to your planning.” Liara went off to get menus and silverware ready before the breakfast rush came. 

Breakfast seemed to last forever. Many familiar faces came in as the town went about its usual routine. About fifteen minutes after Liara arrived, Miranda came in to begin her shift. After her were Wrex and Garrus. They had their usual. For Garrus gravy and biscuits with coffee. As for Wrex, doughnuts with a cup of black coffee. After them, Tali came in. Her hair hidden behind a purple head scarf and her face protected by a doctor's mask. 

Eventually James' lunch break arrived. Though he was hungry he was too anxious to eat. He grabbed his keys and shot a look at Ashley, who only nodded, and left. He drove down the road for five minutes and then turned right. Soon he was at his destination. A faded yellow sign with red letters that spelled _Normandy Auto Repair_. He knew he was a the right place. With a mischievous smile he got out of the car and sauntered up to the door. 

It was open, which wasn't unusual especially in the summer, and a familiar song drifted from the speakers inside. James immediately made a face as if he recognized the song but couldn't remember the name.

“Don't do it James.” Steve warned not looking up from sorting the tool box. “You know how Shepard gets when it comes to this song.” 

“Ah, I'm just messin' with him Estaban. He knows that.” Steve gave him a _uh-huh. Really look_. As if on que Shepard came out of the main lobby whipping off his hands on an oily old rag. 

“Hey Shep.” James called. Shepard stopped and looked at him with wide, almost frightened eyes. He knew what was coming. His eyes narrowed starring James down.

“Don't do it Vega.” Shepard said. “I'm warning you.” 

“What's the name of this song again?” James asked with a small smile. Shepard's face contorted in anger. 

“God damn it Vega!” He yelled slamming his fists into a black 67 Chevy Impala. “It's _Come Together by Godsmack_.”  
James laughed. “Yeah,that's what I thought it was.” Steve and Shepard shook their heads. James knew what buttons to push and which ones not to. He just really liked the look on Shepard's face when he was angry at something but not angry enough to get into a fist fight about it. 

“Is there a reason you came down here James?” Jack asked from underneath a blue green 2006 Stratus. “Or are you here just to piss Shepard off?” 

“Oh, hey Jack. Didn't see ya there. Actually,” James paused. Shepard noticed James lick his lips. A habit he does when he knows that what they were about to do was borderline illegal. “I was gonna go to Kaidan's place and help him unpack. You guys wanna come?” Shepard blinked a couple times and then let a huge smile cross his face.

“Hell yeah!” he replied giving James a high five. They turned to Jack and gave her a look. “Jack?”

With a sigh she gave in. “You know what? Fuck it. This might be my only chance to see if he has any new dirty little secrets.” and with that she high fived James as well. Then they turned to Steve.

He was met with two almost perfect puppy dog eyes and a pair of eyes that could burn through diamonds. He caved in a second. “Fine. But I'm leaving a note so he doesn't get nervous and calls the cops. The last thing this garage needs is another visit from Urdnot Wrex.” With that they piled into James's tiny car and drove off to the Citadel Apartment Complex.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James' dangerous plan is in motion. Sorry it took so long to add this. . . I was a little stuck and Dragon Age: Inquisition was no help.

Kaidan returned home to hushed whispers and boxes sliding across the floor. Quietly he walked to the broom closet and grabbed the baseball bat his father had given him for his birthday and sauntered down the hall to his bedroom. Only when he was outside the door could he make out voices.

 

“Damn I didn't know Kaidan could be such a fucking nerd.” A woman, Jack, said.

 

“Hey, punta, we are here to help Kaidan unpack, not steal his shit now put that away or I will call Miri on you.” Muscles replied. Kaidan was confused. They were in his house, uninvited . . . to help? Okaaayyy.

 

“Can you two knock it off? Before, I dunno, he comes home to find us digging through his stuff?” This voice he didn't know. Before he realized what he was doing he stepped into the doorway.

 

“It's a little late for that.” Muscles, Jack, John and their accomplice froze. Kaidan put the bat against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. “Care to explain?”

 

John rubbed his head and went to speak but Jack cut him off. “We're tired of you being cooped up in this apartment all the time and thought we'd speed the process up a little. Well James did. So if you're gonna call the cops, it was his idea.” Kaidan's eyes shifted to the black man standing in front of him. He had his hands up and the look he was giving him was a 'I was pressured by _those_ guys' look. 

 

“Who is this?” Kaidan asked not breaking eye contact.

 

“Steve Cortez.” He replied holding out his hand. Kaidan bit his lip before returning the handshake. That's when he noticed it. There was a scar on Steve's hand. Right in the center. Carefully he ran his fingers over it. Then like a wave he remembered how he got that scar.

 

 

 

_It was a humid summer night. Kaidan and Steve were walking home from a late night movie . It wasn't a date, just passing the time with a friend. Steve was wearing his favorite shirt, a black tee with some old power cars,his favorite worn out jeans and his boyfriend's sports jacket decorated with an embroidered “R”_

 

_Kaidan was sure they were being followed. He kept glancing over his shoulder and felt like another set of eyes were on him. He began to walk faster and Steve followed. Every time they sped up so did the person following them. Steve could see the expression on Kaidan's face change to that of fear._

 

“Kaidan what's wrong?” _he asked now clearly frightened._

 

“We're being followed.” _Kaidan replied. Suddenly they were running, but Kaidan wasn't like Mark or James. He was scrawny and could barely keep up with Tali who was constantly sick. When Steve looked over his shoulder Kaidan was on the ground, screaming. The man who was following them had ripped his shirt open and still had the knife in his hand._

 

_Doing the only thing he knew to do, Steve ran and tackled the man off of his best friend. Unfortunately, doing so caused the knife to go through his hand. He struggled to keep the man down._

 

“Kaidan. Run!” _He yelled over his shoulder. Kaidan gulped and did what his friend had told him. He ran. He ran to_ Apollo's.

 

“Someone! Anyone! Help!” _He yelled that over and over before Ms. Sanders came and held him._

 

“Hey. It's okay. You're safe now.” _She said._

 

_**Ave Maria Gratia plena** _

 

“My friend. He's hurt. You got to help him.” _Kaidan was now begging._

 

_**Maria, Gratia plena** _

 

“Who is your friend? Where is he?” _Anderson asked._

 

_**Maria, Gratia plena** _

 

“Steve Cortez. He's down by Afterlife and Omega.” _Kaidan was damn near hysterical at this point._

 

_**Ave Ave Dominus, Dominus tecum** _

 

“I'll take Vakarian and Shala'Ran and we'll go find him. Khalee can you take Kaidan to the station for me?” _Anderson asked._

 

_**Benidicta tu in mulieribus** _

 

“Sure. We'll go after you.” _She said. At this point Shala'Ran and Sorius, Garrus's father, were behind them and were ready to hunt. Anderson nodded._

 

“Let's go. We have a predator to catch.” _And with that they turned and left._

 

 

Slowly as if waking from a really bad nightmare, Kaidan found were the singing was coming from. When he realized where he was, he was on the ground in the fetal position against the wall, and he was crying. John was rubbing his arms and singing quietly. Muscles, James, was next to him. Jack was standing with her arms across her chest, and Steve had his arms wrapped protectively around his waist. Everyone of them had looks that were a mix between worry and helplessness.

 

“You okay?” James asked. Kaidan nodded.

 

“Yeah, just a bad memory.” Kaidan responded. John helped him up onto his feet and then gave him a hug. Kaidan barely resisted the tears that threatened to spill again.

 

“It was that night again wasn't it?” Steve kept his gaze on the ground. The arms around his waist tightened. Kaidan's response was almost inaudible.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It's not your fault Kaidan.” Steve stated looking up. “I could have kept running. I could have let him do to you what he did to me. I could have let him _kill_ you.”

Kaidan was now completely curious.

 

“What exactly did you remember?” Jack asked

  
“I remember being stalked, Steve getting stabbed in the hand and running to _Apollo's_. After that there's nothing.”

 

Steve looked up. His eyes filled with both shock and relief.

 

“Good. You don't need to know what happened afterword anyway.” Kaidan, John and James looked at him with confusion and surprise. “You'd probably blame yourself, like you did back then.”

 

“Do you want us to leave?” John asked wiping the stray tears from Kaidan's eyes. Kaidan shook his head.

 

“No. No, you guys wanted to help. You should help. Besides,” Kaidan let a smile come to his face. It was small but it was there, “The less time I spend unpacking the more I get to spend with you guys right?” John let a smile sneak up on him, as did James. When they turned to Jack, she was already ripping into a box labeled _Underwear_.

 

With a victorious grin she pocketed his favorite _Doctor Who_ TARDIS boxers. James went downstairs to the kitchen to cook some dinner for the volunteers and the conscripted Kaidan, While Kaidan and John finished the bedroom. Jack and Steve went downstairs to the living room and worked on it. Kaidan finally got a good look at his bedroom. Shepard and Jack had moved some of his furniture into a design that was relaxing to him. He didn't know why he found it that way but he did. The furniture was black and white as was Kaidan's lamps.

 

John remembered where Kaidan stored his clothes and how and worked on that while his ex put books on the bookshelf James had built.

 

Shepard ripped open the box of tee shirts and grabbed a hand full of hangers. Carefully he unfolded every shirt and hung them up with the front facing toward the left. He smiled as he recognized the designs on some. They weren't as faded as their older counterparts, but each one had a certain significance. There were seven in all. The first one Kaidan had wore on their first date. The Second one was their first kiss. The third the time Shepard took Kaidan's virginity. The forth one their first fight. The fifth one was their first vacation together. The sixth one was the day of the accident. The incident with Steve. The last one, Kaidan had wore on the day of the fire. The day Shepard thought he was gone for good.

 

Shepard wondered to himself if Kaidan had known that the shirts held significance to them both. He wondered if Kaidan remembered more than he let on. With a sigh he went to put Kaidan's jeans away. Stacking them neatly into the second drawer in his dresser. It took Kaidan a while to notice what he was doing and felt his cheeks warm when Shepard finally reached his underwear.

 

“Uh, I can get those.” He said looking down. Shepard let out a small laugh.

 

“You've changed Kaidan. Never thought you'd wear these.” The way he said that caused Kaidan's head to shoot up with lightning speed. The blush growing more intense when he saw Shepard holding up a pair of black boxer briefs.

“You really don't have to put those away.” It was clear to John that Kaidan was acting very much like his old self, deer in the headlights. With a smirk Shepard threw the pair back into the box and walked over to the door.

 

“James probably has dinner ready. I'm also pretty sure that Jack and Steve are almost done with the living room. Wanna go check up on them?” With a smile Kaidan nodded. Together they walked downstairs to the kitchen where James had a nice chicken feast on the table. Jack and Steve had the living room completely furnished in a way that Kaidan was entirely comfortable with. The tan sofa was in nice contrast to the red wood floor. The TV turned at a relaxing angle for the group to gather round and watch some football or hockey. The fireplace was neatly organized with photos of Kaidan's family and his sugar cookie scented candles in perfect symmetry.

 

“Come on amigos, pendejo, food's done.” James said after Kaidan got a good look at his living room. Slowly they moved to Kaidan's dinning table and sat. Kaidan took a chair near the middle. Both Steve and John took advantage of this and planted themselves on either side of him. Jack and James sat across from them. Soon laughter and light banter filled the room. Everyone knew Kaidan was going to go through a hard time. He needed to remember the good times, but at the same time the bad times just couldn't stay away.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm apologizing in advance for the overuse of some words and for this being so. . . late? The chapter itself is really dialogue heavy so words like "asked" get used kind of often.

Kaidan was way passed thoroughly embarrassed, but his friends didn't seem to mind. After dinner James wanted to do the dishes, however, Kaidan felt like his outburst deserved an apology. So there he was scrubbing the dishes after his friends and guests left. It was quiet, a good time to think. His thoughts traveled to earlier. Something happened to Steve, something he once knew, and it was eating him up inside. What had that man done to his best friend that would make Kaidan blame himself? 

He didn't let the thought last for long. Now that he was all settled in he would have to take a shopping trip to Kruban and try to get his job back. He let out a very tired sounding yawn and put the last plate in the drainer to dry. As fast as his sleepy body allowed he wiped down the counters and let the water out of the sink. Sluggishly he made his way upstairs to his finished room and plopped down on his bed. With his face buried into his pillow, he removed his pants. He didn't even bother pulling down the covers and fell into a deep sleep.

 

_It was the Heat of the moment._

“Oh God.” Kaidan said turning over.

_Heat of the moment._

Kaidan slammed his hand on the alarm before the song could go any further. He sat up, stretched and went downstairs to get some coffee. He might not have had food but he did have his much needed coffee. He got his favorite _Sherlock_ mug and filled it up. He enjoyed watching the sunrise in silence. 

After his coffee was gone he went upstairs got some clothes and jumped into the shower. The warm water released some tension in his muscles that he didn't even know he had. He reached over and got his shampoo and squirted a generous amount into his hand. He gently messaged the shampoo into his scalp and then rinsed it out. Not long after that he was clean and his shower was over.

Kaidan dressed quickly, got his keys and headed out the door. He walked up to his truck, a black 1998 dodge ram 1500, in relative silence. Every few steps he would alternate between humming a line from a song to singing it, and it got the attention of Jack.

“Headed somewhere?” She asked.

“Shit!” Her question caused him to jump. His hand went to his chest as he tried to calm himself down. The sight caused Jack to smirk. “I'm going shopping in Kruban. I need to buy some food.”

“What a coincidence.” Jack said. “Shepard's going to Kruban too. Something about a wrecked cruiser that the local mechanics can't take in. Want me to tell him you're headed that way?” Kaidan looked at her for a moment then shook his head. 

“Nah, that's okay. I don't want to get in his way.”

“Get in his way? Shit,” She said with a smirk, “I can't keep secrets from him. If I don't tell him that you were headed to Kruban, Wrex or James will, and he'd just end up searching for you.” Kaidan didn't get to say another word before she turned around and headed into the small yogurt store Shepard was in. He watched them through the window. From what he saw, Jack called out to Shepard and then pointed toward Kaidan. Shepard's eyes lit up and gave a small smile. Then he looked in Kaidan's direction. Kaidan gave a small wave that caused Shepard's smile to grow and earned a wave back. Shepard paused for a minute and pursed his lips together then went to get a Styrofoam bowl and went to one of the machines. 

Kaidan decided to stop watching then. It's not polite to stare. He reminded himself. Shepard came out with two bowls and two spoons and handed one to Kaidan. 

“Thanks.” Kaidan said shyly.

“Not a problem my good sir.” Shepard said happily. “So you're headed to Kruban too?” Kaidan nodded while shoving a spoon full of what tasted like butter pecan into his mouth. “That's cool. That's cool.” Kaidan could tell that Shepard wanted to ask him something. He didn't know when he started mentally calling him Shepard, he figured it was because everyone else did, and reminded himself that he wasn't quite at the place to call him “Shepard”.

“What's on your mind John?” Kaidan asked

“Well,” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “I was wondering if you could ride with me in my truck. Normandy doesn't really have a tow truck yet so we have to redneck-hitch them to my Ford.”

“Redneck-hitch?” Kaidan inquired. 

“It's kind of complicated; but the jist of it is, you take a truck or car and hook up the front to the hitch on the back of another truck. So there will be plenty of space to put the things you buy in the back.” Shepard, John he reminded himself, sounded hopeful and Kaidan didn't want to hurt his feelings.

“Okay.” He replied. “Let's go.” John smiled and led Kaidan down to his truck. 

“Don't you think we should eat our frozen yogurt before it melts and gets all over your truck?” Kaidan's question caught him off guard. He looked down at his own styrofoam bowl and nodded. 

“Yeah.” He replied before taking a bite.

 

They talked while they ate. Kaidan really enjoyed seeing John smile. He noticed somethings that he didn't realize happened when he smiled. He saw that John's mouth would twitch before breaking into an all out smile. He noticed that John would blink as his muscles pulled his mouth. Kaidan looked into John's eyes and saw an explosion of emotions. Emotions so strong, so plentiful, that he couldn't name them all. He was kind of sad when they had finished their treat.

“Come on.” John said pulling himself up from the ground. “We need to get going if we're going to make it back before it rains.” He held a hand out for Kaidan, which he accepted, and hauled him to his feet. He took the bowl and spoon from Kaidan's hands and threw them away. After that he opened the passenger side door and let Kaidan slide in, then went to the driver's side and got in himself. 

“You know you didn't have to do that, right?” Kaidan stated. John turned the key in the ignition. 

“It's a habit.” He answered. “A habit I'm not willing to break.” 

They were quiet for a little while. John focused on his driving and Kaidan felt like he'd asked enough questions for the day, so he looked out the window. John broke the silence after a while. 

“You can listen to the radio if you want.” He glanced at him when Kaidan didn't respond. From the look on Kaidan's face he was deep in thought and something was bothering him. “Kay, are you okay?” Once again Kaidan didn't respond, so John waited till he pulled up to a red light to get Kaidan's attention. “Kaidan.” He shook him. Kaidan jumped. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Kaidan, what's going on in that head of yours? You looked...” John didn't finish his sentence. 

“I was thinking about my mom is all. She was worried about me when I told her I was moving back and I've been so busy getting settled I forgot to call her.” Kaidan explained.

“Well,” John started, “when you do tell her that you've got a friend to take care of you.” Kaidan chuckled.

“And who would that be?”

“Me.” John gave Kaidan a sideways glance. Kaidan smiled a bit. It was nice to know he had a friend. 

“So where to first, the store or my pick up?” Kaidan thought for a minute. If he got anything that needed to be frozen or put in the fridge, in this heat, he'd have to hurry home. 

“I'm pretty sure my groceries can wait for a few minutes.” He said with a slight smile. 

“Okay. Pick up it is.” 

 

It wasn't long till they were pulling up to a wreck on one of many Kruban back roads. The car involved was a 2006 ford police interceptor, and was badly damaged. The most likely cause of the crash was making the turn to fast. The tiny gray car had scratches in the paint and had some lines of green where leaves, and most likely grass, had been rubbed forcefully against it. The body of the car was crushed and bits of the vehicle was scattered through out the trees and road. Unfortunately the officer involved was critically injured and had to be rushed to the hospital, but on the other hand he hadn't died in the crash.

John took the sight in with a shake of his head. That car was nothing but scrap-metal and spare parts now. He was going to have to push the car back on the road, and clear the branches, before he could hitch it. He got out with a sigh. “Kaidan, I'm sorry to ask this, but will you help me get it back on the road?” His blue eyes were filled with regret. Kaidan nodded and got out. John followed suit. 

The hill the car went over wasn't exactly steep, but it was wet from recent rain. Three other officers were down by the hood waiting for John's orders. John cleared his throat and their attention snapped to him.

“Anyone going to help me push?” He asked. 

“I guess I will.” The blond one said, taking a position on the far left. 

“As much as I'd like too, I can't.” The older one, clearly in charge, stated stretching his back. “I was in an accident not to long ago and hurt my back. You-know-who, came to visit me and told me that I shouldn't do any strenuous activities. I'll just supervise and criticize you on your form.”

“Then that means I must do it.” The voice belonged to a black man with small, wire framed glasses, and carried with a thick accent. He took a position on the far right. Kaidan and John were in the middle.

“Ready? One. Two. Three. Push!” John said and all four men began to push. It took about half an hour to get the car on the road and into a position to be hitched. Kaidan and John made short work of clearing the car of branches and then hitched it to his truck. 

“Thanks Shepard.” The older man said.

“Anytime.” John answered. 

“Is this one of your new workers?” The one with glasses asked. John turned to Kaidan.

“I almost forgot. Kaidan, this is Captain Armando Bailey, Okeer, and Javik. Guys this is Kaidan.” The guy with glasses, Javik, looked at Kaidan. 

“He would be most useful in your auto repair shop.” Javik was as blunt as usual. 

“If he want's to work there, that's perfectly fine with me, but I'm not going to coerce him into something he doesn't want.” 

“Of course, I couldn't expect less from you.” Javik gave one of his rare, but approving, smirks. 

“Now if you'll excuse us, Kaidan needs to go shopping.” John led Kaidan back to the truck and once again, opened his door for him. He then walked to the driver side and got in. He let out a puff of air as he turned the key in the ignition. 

“Ready to get some food?” He asked with a smile. Kaidan laughed and nodded. 

 

It took them quite some time before they found a parking spot at the Kruban Wal-mart. The store was, as usual, packed. Four different towns, excluding Kruban, had to shop here because they were too small for a supermarket of their own. Sure they had various smaller shops, frozen yogurt, farmers markets, and dollar stores, but they would have to spend hours bouncing around to get some of what they needed. So most town folk went to Kruban for shopping. Once they found a parking spot, they hopped out of John's truck and headed for the entrance.

A cold blast of air greeted them as they passed through the doors, which caused Kaidan to shiver. John smirked a bit. 

“Cold are you?” Kaidan nodded.

“A bit. Nothing I'm not used to though.” Kaidan grabbed a cart and began to push it.

“How so?” John asked, wiping his hand on his now dirty overalls. 

“I lived in Vancouver with my mom for a while. I think part of the reason she didn't want me moving down here is because of the heat.” Kaidan pushed the cart to the hygiene section. “I may or may not have used my last razor today.” He gave a small smile and a light blush while John laughed. Slowly he made his way up and down the aisles. While he was searching for his razors he became distracted and made a brief stop in the deodorant section. Swiftly he picked up his favorite, axe dark chocolate. He didn't know why it was his favorite. It just was. Once he put it in his cart he resumed the task at hand. He found what he was looking for shortly after. 

“Do you have a shopping list or are you just walking and finding what looks good?” John asked keeping his eyes focused in front of them.

“I made a list. I just memorized it just in case I forgot the paper.” John chuckled. It was something Kaidan would do. “Coffee is next, by-the-way, if you're wondering.” So they went to the breakfast aisle. John knew Kaidan would also have oatmeal on his list. He eats so much that there was a brief rumor that Kaidan was part horse.

“So,” John began putting the pasta in the cart, “what are you going to do after you get done shopping?”

“Well, I was planning on going home and putting the food away.” He replied. John was silent. When Kaidan turned to look at him he was getting a hard look of annoyance.

“Smart aleck.” John turned his semi glare to in front of him. Kaidan chuckled. 

“If you really want to know, I was planning on getting my old job back.” Kaidan steered the cart to the front of the store. He still needed some fresh lettuce and tomatoes. John had put milk and cheese in when he wasn't looking. He must have done that while Kaidan was looking at the oats. 

“Do you remember what your old job was?” John asked concerned. Kaidan sighed. 

“Not really. I mean, I remember kids and a white board so I guess I worked at a school of some sort.”

“Teenagers.” John stated.

“What?” Kaidan questioned confused.

“They were teenagers.” John's voice sounded worn out and far away. His eyes were filled with sorrow. 

“How do you know so much about my life?” Kaidan's eyes narrowed and shot daggers into John.

“That is for you to figure out.” John shot a sad smile back. “Come on let's check out before it rains.”

John led the way to the cash registers and Kaidan followed close behind. John had picked a cash register with a fairly long line. In reality they were all filled to the brim, some were threatening spill into the main walkways of the store. It took a while for them to get to close to the front of the line. There were still six people in front of them but they were now close enough to see the cashier. 

“God damn it.” John said under his breath. He turned away from the cashier and tried to cover his face. 

“John, what's wrong?” 

“The cashier.” He replied. Kaidan looked at the cashier and saw a woman with short red hair. 

“W-what about her?”

“I know her. She's . . . .you don't want to meet her Kaidan. Trust me you won't like her.” John was half pleading. What he was pleading about, Kaidan didn't know.

“I'm sure she can't be that bad.” Kaidan reassured him. 

“You don't know her like I do.” At this point they were at the front of the line. Kaidan began to unload the cart. 

“Did you find everything you were looking for today?” She asked. Kaidan nodded. Kaidan was having trouble moving the cart to pay for the food because John was standing in front of him. 

“Um. John?” The sound of his name grabbed his attention. “You make a better door than a window.” John half smiled, all of the things that made his smile beautiful were gone. He was mad? Nervous? Kaidan couldn't quite name the emotion but it was starting to make him uncomfortable. John moved out of the way and that's when the cashier recognized him. 

“Mark?!” Her voice was shrill. Shit. Kaidan thought, I see now why he didn't want to be recognized.  
“Oh my. Mark how have you been?” She asked. 

John, now being called Mark, nodded. “I've been good. How are the kids?” 

“Missing their father.” She kept scanning Kaidan's items. 

“That's a shame.” John replied blandly. 

“It really is.” She turned to Kaidan “That will be 63.08” Kaidan fished out his credit card and swiped it through the machine. “Who's your friend?” 

“Kaidan. His name is Kaidan.” John was growing more and more bitter by the second, and in all honesty, it was scarring him.

“Kaidan, it's nice to meet you. I'm Kelly.” She held out her hand. He returned the handshake. 

“It's nice to meet you too.” He said in a small voice. She handed him his receipt. 

“Come back soon okay?” Kaidan nodded.

“That was unpleasant.” Kaidan pushed their cart full of bagged goods to the entrance.  
“Tell me about it.” John was fuming.

“Who was she?” Kaidan wanted to touch him. He wanted to help him calm down but he didn't know how.

“The woman who ruined my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to add Kelly in later chapters but I couldn't resist the opportunity to include her. I semi apologize for her being out of character. I have nothing but resentment towards her so I hope it's not to obvious. I'll do my best to not make her too annoying but then again, no guarantees. Thank you for reading this chapter and I'll try to be more diligent in updating this story in the future. If I slack off then I'll try to make my chapters longer. So, Thanks again!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I'm slow to update. I started working on this chapter immediately after the last, but I work on it in short bursts and try to write on it a little bit everyday. For whatever reason I can't seem to put these chapters out fast enough, though I am trying to make them longer. Please forgive any overused words and please tell me if they're any errors. I'm posting this immediately after finishing it. Thank you for your patience and enjoy. :)

Kaidan looked at him with concerned filled eyes. John was still angry with her. They loaded the truck in silence. After the truck was loaded, John, once again, opened Kaidan's door for him. John sighed as he slammed his door shut. 

“I'm sorry, Kaidan.” John was shaking in his seat. 

“Sorry for what?” Kaidan's eyes never left John's form.

“Sorry for making you uncomfortable. It's just,” He took a deep breath. “She makes me so angry. I spent years with her and she. . . . She wasn't a bad person. She isn't a bad person. She just. . . she was trying too hard.” 

“To do what?” 

“It's not important. Not now anyways.” John gave a faint smile. “Let's get you home, hmm?” Kaidan nodded. John successfully managed to reach over and turn on the radio without taking his eyes off the road. The undeniably good pop beat had Kaidan smiling a bit. 

“Hey John?” Kaidan began.

“Yeah?” John shot back.

“What song is this?” John looked at Kaidan and let a smile come to his face.

“It's _Reapers_ by LGL.” He replied turning his attention back to the road.

“It's good.” John nodded. 

 

For the rest of the ride neither Kaidan or John said a word. The only thing breaking the silence was the radio. Slowly John parked his truck in the spot closest to the door. They sat there for a moment. Kaidan turned to look at John and searched for something to say.

“Well I got you home in one piece.” John smile was sad. 

“Yeah. You did.” Kaidan smiled back. Once again neither one of them said anything. “Bye.” Kaidan opened the door to get out. 

“Wait.” John said grabbing Kaidan's arm. He looked at him, confusion written in his brown eyes. “Wrex is throwing a fourth of July party this weekend. The whole town is going to be there.” John paused. He was stumbling.

“And you want me to go with you?” Kaidan finished for him. 

“Yes.” John perked up. His smile looked like it would fly past his eyes and into the sun. Then terror spread to them. “Not as a date. I mean it doesn't have to be a date. I mean we can go as friends.” Kaidan smiled. When John was with others he radiated confidence, but when he was with Kaidan he stumbled. Kaidan liked the rare sight.  
“I'll go. As friends right?” John smiled and then nodded.

“As friends.” He then released Kaidan's arm and let him get his groceries, and go to his apartment. 

Once Kaidan was inside he couldn't help but give a very toothy grin. He dropped the small load of food he had and danced his way to the fridge. Once there he began to but the dairy and refrigerated food away. The rest could wait. After that he called his mom.

“ _Hello?_ ” She asked once she picked up the phone.

“Hi, mom.” He replied with a smile.

“ _Oh Kaidan!_ ” She said happily. “How are you dear?”

“I'm fine mom.” He paused for a second, his thoughts drifting back to the days previous events. “I made some new friends.” 

“ _That's great honey!_ ” Her voice was filled with glee. “ _What are they like?_ ”

“Well, John is incredibly nice and sweet. Jack is a straight to the point kind of girl. Muscles is funny and a great cook.” 

“ _I'm glad you're having fun, but what are you going to do once you run out of money?_ ” Kaidan could hear the worry in her voice. He let out a sigh. 

“I'm trying to get my job back.” He let out a little laugh. “Well trying isn't the word for it. I want to get my job back. I just haven't talked to my old boss yet.” Kaidan could hear his mother sigh. 

“ _You need to do that soon, son. They might have already replaced you._ ” Her words hurt a little, but Kaidan knew that they were true. 

“John invited me to a fourth of July party at one of his friend's place.” That was the real reason Kaidan wanted to call. To tell his mother that he was super excited about meeting more of John's friends. She was silent for a second. 

“ _Kaidan, remember what I told you. You need to find a job. Even if it's temporary._ ” It was Kaidan's turn to sigh. 

“Yes mom. I know. I just haven't had the time. I've been a little busy with the move and haven't been out much, unless it was to get something to eat.”

“ _It's okay dear. I believe you. I'm just worried is all._ ” Her voice was soft and steady. It was as almost Kaidan could feel the love coming from her through the phone. They continued talking for a while. They talked about what Kaidan was going to do after he got a job, what books he had in his reading que and what shows he needed to catch up on.

“Listen, I have to go. It's getting pretty late here and I haven't exactly eaten any dinner.” He said with a sad smile.

“ _Okay sweetie. I love you._ ” 

“I love you too, mom.” His smile became a little less sad and widened a tad. 

“ _Sweet dreams and good night._ ” With that she hung up, leaving Kaidan listening to the dial tone. 

“Sweet dreams and good night.” He said melancholic to no one in particular. He hung up the phone and made himself some oat meal and went to bed. 

 

The rest of the week went by pretty quickly. He had gotten caught up with the show he was watching. He wasn't really into it, but his mother was, and he enjoyed talking to her about it. It was almost noon and Kaidan had to get ready for Wrex's fourth of July party. John had come by on Friday to tell Kaidan that they would be spending all day at Wrex's, and that he would be at the apartment somewhere around noon. 

Kaidan silently cursed his procrastination as he went upstairs to change. It wouldn't take long to get ready considering he had already brushed his teeth and washed his face. He went to his closet and stared at his shirts. This was the hardest part, deciding on what shirt he should wear. It needed to be festive, but not over the top. He went though his shirts that were arranged by show, until he came across a _Doctor Who_ shirt. It was white and had red, yellow, white and blue daleks on it. He shucked off his shirt and put the dalek one on. As he was putting on his jeans, he heard a knock at the door. 

“Hey, Kaidan.” John said with a smile. “You look festive.” 

“Thanks.” Kaidan replied. “You look good, yourself.” 

“Thanks.” John replied looking down. He did look good. He was wearing a faded _Han Solo_ shirt with a leather jacket. Kaidan looked at the jacket curiously. He recognized that jacket and yet he's never seen it before. 

“You ready to go?” John asked.

“Yeah.” Kaidan replied. He shook the thought of the jacket out of his mind. He'd think about it at another time. He followed John out to his truck. Kaidan let John open his door for him. Kaidan was still unsure why John insisted on opening his door for him, besides it being a habit. Then John began to drive. He was almost to the edge of town when he turned down one of the back roads. The one lane road was curvy and trees bordered it on both sides. It was beautiful.

 

It wasn't too long till they were pulling up to Wrex's house, though it was more like a cabin. There were a few other cars there, along with a police cruiser sitting in the drive way. The outside of the cabin was neatly decorated. Wind chimes were hung up on the porch, along with a handmade swing. Plants were well, planted on either side of the steps and wrapped around to the edge of the structure. On the porch, in the swing, sat a heavy set woman. Her blond hair came to her shoulders and she had a no nonsense air about her.

“You gonna jump out or what?” John asked looking amusingly at Kaidan.

“Sorry. I was just looking around is all.” Kaidan smiled shyly.

“Are you afraid you're going to be attacked?” John questioned looking at the woman on the swing.

“Maybe. I mean, the woman on the swing doesn't look to friendly.” Kaidan let a little bit of his fear, and nerves, show in his eyes. John, on the other hand, rolled his.

“Please. You survived Jack, you can survive Bakara.” With that John got out, only to be viciously hugged by a thin woman.

“Shepard!” She cheered. “You're here!” John laughed. 

“Hello to you too, Tali.” John returned the hug, and spun Tali around. John looked Kaidan and jerked his head, beckoning him to meet the young woman. Quietly Kaidan got out of John's truck and snuck to her. “Tali,” John began, “this is Kaidan.” 

Tali turned around and found Kaidan trying to make himself as small as possible, which was not an easy task. “It's a pleasure to meet you Kaidan. I'm Tali'Vakarian, formerly known as Tali'Zorah.” She held out her hand.

“Nice to meet you too, Tali. I'm Kaidan. Kaidan Alenko.” He took her hand in his. He took a moment to get a good look at her. He saw that she had her brown hair wrapped in a red scarf and that the only part of her face that he could see was from her green eyes up. She was dressed both simply and festively. Her shirt was a white button up and she wore blue jeans. 

“I assume that Bottle-Murderer is around?” John said with a smile. Tali turned around and, from what Kaidan could see, gave a smile in return.

“Yep. He's around back with every one else.” And with that, she led them through the mass of cars, around to the other side of the house. Kaidan was expecting a lot more people than there were. John had made it seem like the entire population of the small town they were in would be here, but Kaidan counted only twelve, including John and himself. The back yard was smaller than the front yard, but it didn't look as barren. Wrex had set up a small grill to one side of the steps to the back porch, and there was a small fire pit near the center of the yard. A few feet from the fire pit there was a folding table with a neat blue table cloth on it, most likely to serve food. There was an old looking swing set close to the edge of the woods, and a small vegetable garden not to far from it. 

The police officer known as Wrex was wearing an apron that read _Kiss my Grits_ over top of his red shirt and brown jeans. He was standing at the grill flipping burgers and humming something under his breath. Tali had wondered off and was currently standing next to Jack and a red headed man wearing a dark colored hat. The woman with the Australian accent was standing near the garden with Liara and the woman with the bun who worked at _Apollo's_. Muscles, James, was walking with the other police officer toward Wrex. John grabbed Kaidan's wrist, clearly sensing the tension, and gave it a little squeeze. 

“No one is going to hurt you here, Kaidan.” John said quietly. “Let's tell the big lug we're here.” With a small pull, John led Kaidan to the grill. “Wrex.” 

Wrex stopped seasoning the burgers for a second, then quickly turned around. “Shepard!” He bellowed, “My friend.” Wrex gave John a large hug, which John gladly returned. “Haven't seen you in a while. I guess that's a good thing. Means you're staying out of trouble.” John smiled. He'd done that a lot today and was sure to do it a lot more. 

“I've been busy. The rain's been hard on us and Kruban. I have a few trucks and a couple of cruisers waiting for me at the shop right now. Thought I could use a break and a bit of a distraction.” As the last bit left his mouth he turned to Kaidan, who stared at him.

“So this pyjak is your distraction?” Wrex said, finally acknowledging Kaidan. “Better not get into any trouble around here, whelp. Otherwise, you'll have to deal with me.” Wrex leveled a glare at Kaidan and as time passed, both the silence and the glare became more intense. 

“Wasn't planning on it.” Kaidan said, after taking a second to gather his courage. Wrex shot him a small smile. What ever test he was given, Kaidan just passed. 

“Good. Name's Wrex by-the-way. You must be Kaidan.” He held his hand out for Kaidan, which he took.

“I am.” Wrex turned back to his burgers, taking them off the grill and slipping fresh patties on.

“I bet we'll see more of each other. For now, go enjoy yourself. There's beer in the cooler and lots of food coming up. Got a game of horseshoes around the house and corn-hole. A little something for every one.” By the time they finished their conversation, James and the other officer had arrived at the grill. 

“Careful, Boss. Don't want to give Tali food poisoning again now, do we?” The other cop said with a mischievous twist to his mouth. 

“Piss off, Garrus.” Wrex said, flipping a burger angrily. 

“Hey we don't mean any disrespect, Fluffy. We just don't want to taste charcoal again.” James said

“Think you can do better, Vega?” Wrex narrowed his eyes at James.

“Uh, kinda. I mean, I work at _Apollo's_.” 

“Flipping frozen patties and frozen fries. There's no love in it, Vega.” John said crossing his arms.

“Also, didn't we have to call the fire department during Christmas around seven years ago?” Garrus's voice was smooth but filled with good spirited fun. 

“Yeah. Took 'em almost an hour to put it out. We still get Christmas cards from the fire department.” And with that John,Wrex, and Garrus burst out in laughter. James made a face that resembled mock anger. 

“Hey, Kaidan. I'm glad to see you here.” James said as he slapped a hand down on Kaidan's shoulder.

“I'm glad to be here. I'm having a lot of fun.” He replied. 

“Really? You're having fun listening to three grown men bicker?” Wrex's question sounded very much genuine.  
“Yeah.” Kaidan said shyly. 

“So Kaidan, what are you planning on doing next week?” Garrus asked. Kaidan sighed. 

“Hopefully get my old job back. Oh, that reminds me, I need to talk to Liara.” Kaidan turned to the garden to see if she was still there. Sure enough she was. She was still talking to her co-workers. 

“Kaidan, before you go, I was wondering if you and Shepard here wanna go camping sometime?” Garrus smiled a bit at the end. Kaidan thought about it for a second. 

“Sure, why not?” Garrus's little smile turned into an all out grin. 

“I'll get everything sorted out and let you know.” Garrus turned away, presumably to find Tali. Kaidan turned to find Liara again, and found some of Wrex's burger patties in a neat pile on the table next to some chips. Slowly, shyly, Kaidan made his way to Liara, who was headed toward the table of food. She was busy putting together a cheeseburger when he finally said something. 

“Hey, Liara.” He said rubbing his neck. She turned to him, her short black hair was curled a little and fell out from behind her ear. 

“Why hello Kaidan.” She said with a smile. “I'm glad to see you're here.” He smiled back at her.

“You're not the only one.” He turned to see James still chatting with Wrex, Garrus and John about lord knows what. He was waving his arms around enthusiastically, most likely defending himself for some kind of mishap. 

“How's Shepard treating you? Well I hope.” Her voice was steady, calm, and concerned all at the same time.

“Yeah. He's super nice.” Kaidan made a face, and in return Liara looked at him with even more concern. 

“You didn't come over to talk to me about the weather did you?” She sat her plate to the side and crossed her arms. Kaidan hung his head and sighed. Not noticing John's approach. 

“No. I didn't.” He sighed again. “I don't remember much before the fire. In fact once I was conscious in the hospital, I didn't even recognize my own parents. I'm starting to remember my life in this town before the incident. I remember Steve getting his hand hurt. I remember sitting next to you in school. I remember working as a teacher at that school. I also remember you being my coworker. I don't remember what either of us taught, but I was wondering if you could help me get my job back.” He looked at Liara with sad eyes and he could tell that she was feeling sorry for him. 

“I'm sorry Kaidan. I don't exactly have the kind of power you need, and I don't think Saren would rehire you if you didn't remember what you taught.” It was her turn to sigh. “Once you remember what _you_ taught, I will try to convince Saren to let you take a test to get an interview for your old position. But only if you remember.” The smile on Kaidan's face was both a sad and hopeful one.

“I'll do my best.” She smiled back at him. John cleared his throat, causing both Kaidan and Liara to look at him.

“Kaidan, if you really need a job I would be honored to have you work at Normandy Auto Repair as a secretary. Really it's just taking calls, make appointments and send us to crash sites. Think you can handle it?”

Kaidan smirked. Of course he could handle it. Hell, it sounded fun. He would be telling John, Jack and Steve where to go and what they would be doing. Kaidan let his smirk turn a little mischievous, which caused Shepard to back away a step. 

“I think I just created a monster.” He said. Kaidan laughed.

“Don't worry, I'll be on my best behavior.” To which John let out a relieved huff. Liara laughed, clearly sensing the playful tone in both men. 

“Well, gentleman, I must be off. I think Joker and Tali are arguing again, and you know how that can end if someone doesn't step in.” With that she took her plate and went to the two, who were loudly bickering about whether or not Batgirl could actually take on Supergirl. 

Kaidan gave a forlorn gaze in Liara's general direction, but only for a second. The gaze didn't go unnoticed by John. He wanted to sigh, to give a desperate, if not exasperated, huff. He wanted to carry Kaidan's burdens, just like he'd done for years. He wanted to give the forlorn gaze, to feel like an important part of his life was missing. He wanted it because he could see how Kaidan was a bit hollow. If Kaidan still had his memory he would have slapped Wrex on the back and give him tips on how to make the perfect burger. Kaidan would have went with Tali to Joker just to ignore him because he was still mad over the whole TARDIS vs Delorian debate. John shook the thoughts out of his head and wrapped an arm around Kaidan's shoulder. 

“Want to find Jack?” John asked. Kaidan looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “She hasn't stopped asking me how you were doing. She was thrilled when she heard you were coming. Well as thrilled as Jack can be, I guess.” Kaidan chuckled and then nodded. John's smiled. It was a tiny smile but a smile all the same. He then led Kaidan to where Jack stood with the two waitresses from _Apollo's_. 

“Hello ladies. Not saying anything bad about me I hope.” John said with a grin. Jack turned and crossed her arms. For today she had traded her tomboy style for something a little more punk rock, and it shocked Kaidan. Her hair, what little there was, was pulled into a ponytail as it normally was. Her shirt was an _Iron Maiden_ shirt and exposed one of her shoulders. She wore black skinny jeans and knee high boots to complete her look. 

“It's always bad Shepard.” She turned to Kaidan and gave a small grin. “Good to see that dumbass here hasn't run you off. How you doing since we got you settled in?”

“I'm doing good.” Kaidan replied.

“Kaidan's going to be the receptionist at _Normandy_.” John said excitedly, then his face scrunched up for a second. “You never gave me an answer.” Kaidan turned to him, which was a little hard to do with John's arm still around him, and crossed his arms. 

“I did answer. I told you I would be on my best behavior.” John narrowed his eyes, clearly confused. 

“He said 'yes' dumbass.” Jack chimed in. “Now you know why I call him dumbass.” John's face lit up once the words settled.

“Great! You start Monday at eight am. Oh, and everyone goes to _Apollo's_ for lunch.” The words flew from John's mouth so fast that Kaidan was unsure of what he had just heard. He looked to Jack for conformation. She nodded. 

“You only come to _Apollo's_ because you get a discount.” The Australian woman said. She turned to Kaidan. “By the look on your face I'm guessing you don't know me.”

“I recognize you, but I don't know your name. Either of you.” he admitted. 

“My name is Miranda Lawson.” She said sticking out her hand. She gestured to the other woman, who's hair was not in a bun, when he released her hand. “This is Ashley Williams, James's girlfriend.” He shook Ashley's hand with a smile. 

“My name is Kaidan, though I'm sure you already knew that.” He looked down at his feet. 

“The entire town already knows your name, so if you get tired of being polite I'm sure the others would understand.” Miranda's voice sounded genuine. 

“What if they don't?” Kaidan tried to make himself as small as possible. 

“Then I will make them.” She replied with a smile. Kaidan smiled back. 

“Thanks.” 

“Don't mention it.” 

“Hey, heads up!” James yelled. John, Kaidan, Jack, Miranda and Ashley turned to him, but the warning came to late. Kaidan saw a round object coming at him and it hit him square in the face. His body went limp in Shepard's arms as he caught him. He was out like a light


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Bit of trigger warning there is rape in this chapter. It's just mentioned and it doesn't go into detail. Happy N7 Day every body. Feel free to comment. Constructive criticism is crucial to the improvement to this story and is always welcome. I apologize for any errors my beta tester has yet to read this.

Shepard caught Kaidan and eased him to the ground. He put Kaidan's head on his lap and gently brushed some of the stray strands of hair back into their place. Jack knelt down beside him and offered him a handkerchief, which he used for Kaidan's bleeding nose and mouth. 

“What the fuck,Vega?” Shepard asked leveling a glare at James, who was running up to him. Garrus and Wrex were trailing behind him. Soon Shepard and Kaidan were surrounded by their friends. 

“I'm sorry,” Vega began. “I was showing Garrus soccer trick and I accidentally kicked the ball to hard.” 

Shepard opened his mouth to tell James off but Ashley beat him to it. “James Vega, what did I tell you about showing Garrus your 'soccer tricks'?” 

James stared at her for a second. “Uh, do it in an open field?” 

Ashley nodded and was about to chew James out some more, but Shepard stopped her. “Now's not the time. We need to focus on Kaidan right now.” Once again she nodded. None of them noticed Bakara as she walked up to them. 

“Mordin is on his way. He told us to make sure to keep his head and neck still in case he has neck trauma.” Her voice was steady and authoritative. Shepard nodded and tried to keep still. He was shaking, whether it was from anger or worry, he didn't know. He just knew that he had to stop. He took deep breath and began to hum Kaidan's favorite song. It was a soft song, one that he knew all too well. He had sung it to Kaidan during his crippling migraines. Kaidan shifted slightly and let a smile come to his face. The sight calmed Shepard and put a smile on his face. 

 

 _Kaidan was sitting on the bleachers at Grissom High School. Joker was sitting next to him, his left arm was in a red cast and had been written on in dark marker, and Tali was on his other side. Gym class had always been his least favorite class to be in, but it was mandatory, so here he was sitting with the disabled kids watching as the others ran laps around the track. Only one kid was missing, James._

_When James finally showed up he went straight to the coach and handed him a note. Coach Vyrnnus was a hard ass. He made his students run a ridiculous amount, and offered them little water. Even principal Arterius thought he was a little extreme, though he overlooked it because RESULTS!_

_James limped over to where Kaidan, Tali and Joker were sitting, and thanks to their gym clothes they could see the bruises that covered James's body. Slowly, gently, James lowered himself onto a cold metal bench just below the trio. Kaidan looked at James and attempted to say something, but nothing came out. After a moment of intense silence, Joker finally said something._

“You look like shit.” _Joker said. His voice was filled with concern. The three of them wondered what excuse James would use this time._

_James sighed, knowing that he was running out of things to say and that his friends knew what was happening to him. Still, he was in this mess and he wanted to get out of it himself. He was torn about whether or not to tell them just how bad it really was. Instead he just said,_ “My cousins came over and got a little to rough. It's no big deal.” _He could tell from the looks on their faces that they were hurt, but not surprised, that he was hiding something from them._

“Tell them to be more careful next time.” _Kaidan said. He was angry, and understandably so, but he made an effort not to let it show. He reached into his backpack and pulled out an old sketch book. He reached back inside, pulled out four pencils and handed them each one. They took turns drawing in it. Kaidan drawing daleks chasing Joker's drawings of Doc Brown and Marty. Tali filled her section with tiny sketches of Garrus releasing an army of kittens. James drew himself, unbruised, with muscles fixing a delicious looking cake._

_They worked on their drawings for a while, barely noticing Shepard watching them. He jogged up to them with Steve and Robert on his heels. Joker had added the delorian and Kaidan countered with the TARDIS parked on top. Shepard knew drawing was Kaidan's way of trying to make things a little bit better and enjoyed seeing everyone laughing and having a good time, even when it was anything but._

_“Whatcha drawing?” Shepard asked trying to climb over the chain link fence that separated the group._

“Shepard!” _Vyrnnus barked._ “Get your flabby ass off that fence right now.” _Vyrnnus turned to Steve and Robert._ “What are you two doing standing there? Run!” _Unlike Shepard, Steve and Robert feared Vyrnnus and shot off like rockets. Shepard looked at Vyrnnus and kept his leg in place on the fence and managed to get over on the opposite side. Vyrnnus was not pleased with this._ “Okay you little shit, we're going to pay a visit to Arterius. Now!”

_Shepard rolled his eyes and went to hop the fence again, only to be stopped by Vyrnnus's loud yelling. Kaidan chuckled at Shepard's loud groan as he had to walk five feet to the open gate to exit. When Shepard finally reached Vyrnnus, he was promptly grabbed by the collar and dragged to Mr. Arterius's office. Vyrnnus grumbled the whole way. Kaidan turned his attention back to his drawing, only looking up when three pencils were being shoved in his face._

“Class is over, Kaidan.” _Tali explained. He took his pencils and shut his art book, gracelessly tossing them into his book bag. James helped Joker and Kaidan to their feet, while Tali ran over to Garrus._

 

_It was a couple weeks after James had arrived at school with bruises. Shepard had gotten grounded for disrespecting a teacher and had yet to be released from his punishment. If he quit picking fights with Vyrnnus, that might help a bit. Kaidan had told his parents what James's father had been doing to him. He doesn't know the full scale of it because James wont tell him, but he knows that it's bad enough for James to look for any excuse not to go home._

_Kaidan was sitting in his room watching some crappy show while he did his homework. His parents were gone for the evening and wasn't expected back home any time soon. Kaidan reveled in the stillness that fell upon the house. He let out a groan. He had been stuck on the same math problem for over ten minutes and it was becoming frustrating. Thank god the phone rang._

“Hello?” _He asked._

“K-Kaidan?” _It was James. He was out of breath and panicky._

“Yeah. It's me.” _He paused for a second, waiting for James to continue, but all he got was heavy breathing._ “What's wrong man? Are you okay?” 

“You have to get down here man. You have to get down here. I don't know what to do. I don't.” _Kaidan could tell something was horribly_ horribly _wrong with this friend and before he realized what he was doing, he'd hung up and was riding his bike toward James's._

 _When he got there James was sitting in the fetal position covered in blood. He was rocking back and forth singing to himself in Spanish. Kaidan ran up to him and checked him for any bleeding wounds. The only marks on James were the healing bruises. Slowly, calmly, Kaidan took James's hands in his._

“James, tell me what's going on.” _James sat rocking for a bit, but when he stopped he looked Kaidan in the eye._

“I told him I couldn't take it anymore and that I wouldn't do it anymore. When I did he got mad at me and hit me. He threatened to kill me, even got the carving knife to do it.” James motioned with his bare foot to the knife, barely kicking it. “I managed to get the knife from him and,” _His frame shook with a sob._ “I stabbed him. I stabbed him so many times. I need help Kaidan. I need help.” _Kaidan's eyes widened._

“What did he do to you?”Kaidan's voice was dark, deadly, sounding. James tried to speak several times but only made high pitched sounds. After what felt like an eternity James turned those sounds into words. 

“There's this guy, I don't know his name but, he's my dad's dealer. One time my dad ran out of money to pay him and,” _James let out a breath,_ “offered me instead. Now every week, dad gets his heroin and I get fucked. Then once dad gets drunk or high, and the man leaves,” _James held out his arms._ “he beats me. So I killed him.” _Kaidan didn't know what to do with this information. For an instant he thought about calling the police, but Kaidan knew James would be embarrassed if people knew the extent of his abuse. He was too scrawny, borderline anorexic really, and James was too distraught to do anything so he went to the phone and dialed a number he knew by heart. It picked up on the third ring._

“Anderson residence.” _The voice on the other end was polite and cheerful._

“Ms. Sanders.” _Kaidan wondered why Ms. Sanders was on the other end of the phone._

“Oh Kaidan. I'm sorry John can't come to the phone right now, he's grounded.” _Her voice was sharp at the end, like it had been directed at Shepard and not him. He could hear Shepard yelling something about Vyrnnus being a dick, but was too far from the phone for the whole thing to be heard._

“Actually I was wondering if Mr. Anderson was home.”

“Sure let me get him.” _Kaidan didn't miss the surprise in her voice, or in Anderson's when he answered the phone._

“Hello?” 

“Mr. Anderson, listen I need you to come down to Josh Sanders's house. You're the only one I can trust with this.” _Kaidan said quickly._

“Slow down son. What's the hurry?” _Anderson was using his cop voice, one he saved for people he knew._

“In all honesty sir, I think it would be easier to show you.” _Kaidan turned to James, who had went back to rocking back and forth during the duration of the call._

“Alright. I'm on my way.” _Kaidan hung up and went back to James doing what he could to comfort him. It wasn't too long before Anderson was knocking on the door and stepping in._

“Oh my god. James!” _He said running up to James. Kaidan relaid what James had told him, not leaving out a detail. Anderson nodded, but remained quiet and after a while asked James to lead him to the body. James led them through the kitchen and into the living room, where a very mangled Josh Sanders laid dead on the floor. Anderson ran a hand over his head and began to move furniture._

“Mr. Anderson, what are you doing?” _James asked._

“Look, I know what'll happen if I call this in. There are a lot of people, higher ups, that believe the stories that your father wove. They believe that you get into street brawls, and sell drugs. Then there are those who've seen through Josh's bullshit. I call this in, you do fifteen for murder. We're hiding the body.” _Anderson looked at both Kaidan and James, then went back to moving furniture. Luckily where Josh laid was on top of a shitty long rug that looked like it had been stolen from a bad porno. Anderson quickly wrapped him up and had James carry him to his car. Kaidan got in the back and said nothing from a combination of not knowing what to say and not trusting himself to not get sick all over the floor._

_Anderson didn't drive far. Only to the edge of the woods. It was that time of year where the bears were out and there had been a mini drought, causing the bears to be a little hungrier than usual. If any hikers discover the body they would blame the fearsome omnivores. James and Anderson got out of the car, got the body and went into the woods. They were there fifteen minutes, most likely walking to their destination and walking back. The carpet was folded up and being carried by Anderson. Anderson burned took the rug, James's bloodstained clothes, and Kaidan's bloodied clothes after dropping them off at their homes to change._

Kaidan woke up with a light being shined in his eyes, which caused him to groan. He turned his head to find it resting on John's lap, which was surprisingly comfortable. Slowly he ran his hand over his face.

“Ahh, you're awake. Good. Shepard was starting to worry. Worry, more like panic.” The man took a breath. “How's your head?”

“It hurts like hell.” Kaidan replied. He sat up, John's hands on his back and sides guiding him to a sitting position. 

“Most likely a concussion. Tell me, any urge to vomit or nausea?” The man had dark, thick framed glasses over his blue eyes. He had streaks of white in his black hair. He grinned when Kaidan said no.

“Are you tired or dizzy?” Once again Kaidan said no.“Good. Minor concussion. Nothing to worry about. If headache gets worse, call me. Doubt it will though. Can take pain reliever if you want. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” With that the man got up. 

“Thanks for coming, Mordin.” John said.

“My pleasure. Wish it was on better circumstances.” Mordin turned and walked away. James walked up to Kaidan, offering him a hand. John glared at him, clearly not ready to accept his apology or his help. Kaidan, on the other hand, had forgiven him entirely and offered a “thanks” when James hauled him to his feet.

“Kaidan, I'm sorry I hit you in the face with a soccer ball.” James hung his head. “It wont happen again.” Kaidan laughed, which surprised everyone. James snapped his head up to see what he was laughing at and then winced. Kaidan laughed even harder. 

“I...think we need to get Mordin to take another look at him.” Garrus said.

“I'm fine. I'm fine.” Kaidan said between breaths. “Funny memory is all.” The group just stared at him, clearly prompting him to say what he, literally, remembered. “I remembered James kicking John in the face with a soccer ball.” He turned to Wrex, “You should probably put a ban on soccer balls.”

There was a collective sigh of relief when they realized that James had triggered a happy memory. Wrex crossed his arms. “That's a great idea. Why don't you take it easy?” 

“Go into the house and watch tv. I'm sure Shepard wouldn't mind fetching some food for you, and James could come get you two when the fireworks start.” Bakara's voice had a particular feel to it, one that he heard every now and then from his mother. 

“I take it that you're not going to take no for an answer are you?” His question wasn't directed at Bakara, but the group of people surrounding him. 

“Nope.” Garrus replied. “Go, I believe it's time for _Elementary_.” Kaidan let himself be led, by John, up the porch and into the cabin. The kitchen, which was connected to the backyard through sliding doors, was tiny and shared the room with the living room. To the left was a couch, a brown sectional facing the tv, which was next to the window facing the kitchen. It was most likely placed there for when Wrex was eating in the kitchen and wanted to watch westerns. He seemed like that was his guilty pleasure. He didn't have much time to observe his surroundings before John escorted him to the couch and, with a gentle hand, pushed him onto it. John knelt down and untied Kaidan's shoes, then guided  
his feet so that he was laying stretched out facing the tv. 

“Are you hungry? Would you like me to get you a hamburger or a hot dog?” John asked. His voice was quiet, not quite his normal speaking voice but not quite a whisper as well. He was most likely speaking this way as to not agitate Kaidan's pounding head. 

“No thanks.” Kaidan said with a small smile. 

“Okay.” John replied. John reached over and handed Kaidan the remote before he sat down near his feet. Kaidan tried to move but John held up his hand and shook his head, halting his efforts. “Do you need something for your head?” He mentally kicked himself for not asking earlier.

“Thanks for the offer, but I'll be fine. I suffered through worse.” They sat like that for quite some time. Kaidan watched tv, clearly absorbed in the show, while John was trying not to hover over him. Kaidan sat up and swung his feet over the edge of the couch, stopping when John jumped up. Kaidan looked at him. 

“What do you need, Kaidan?” John's voice, which usually held an air of jokes and sarcasm, was set in a no nonsense yet caring tone.  
“I'm a little thirsty. Do you think Wrex will mind if I got some water?” John didn't say anything. He just got up and went to the faucet and got Kaidan a glass of water. He handed it to him as he sat down.

“Thank you.” Kaidan whispered.

“No problem.” John said.

“John,” Kaidan began after taking a sip of water, “I have a question.” John turned on the couch, bringing his right leg up so he could face Kaidan. 

“Shoot.” 

“That woman at the store, how did she ruin your life exactly?” John sighed and looked down. 

“I had just gotten out of a three year relationship when I began to date her. The person I was with died in the fire. I was,” He paused for a second and took a deep, shuddering breath. “I wasn't doing so well. Kelly said she could help and I thought that it would be better than drowning by problems.” Kaidan put his hand on John's shoulder. “She moved in a couple weeks later. My time with her was miserable, she tried so hard to be the person that I loved.”

“It didn't work.” Kaidan's voice was low.

“No. It didn't.” John's smirk was bitter and Kaidan hated it the moment he saw it.

“Why _Normandy Auto Repair_?” Kaidan tried to change the subject. John chuckled a bit, seeing through Kaidan's attempt.

“It was an idea Jack had. She knew I had a thing for cars and came to me asking if I wanted to run a garage with her. I figured I could do what I love and get paid for it. Win-win right?” Kaidan nodded. John smiled. Kaidan opened his mouth to say something else but was interrupted by the back doors sliding open and heavy footsteps. 

“Wrex wanted me to tell you two that the fireworks are about to start.” It was James. His shirt was now covered in grass stains and mud and sweat rolled off of his face. 

“Thanks James.” Kaidan replied. John leveled a look of annoyance at him, but didn't say anything. 

“Did I,” James looked between Kaidan and John, “interrupt something?” 

“Yes.” John nodded. “Yes you did.” 

“Should I go?” James pointed behind him. 

“It's too late.” John said getting up. Kaidan bent down and put his shoes back on. He looked at John, who offered him his hand to aid him in standing up. Kaidan took it. James didn't really wait for them to catch up, he was already out the door and tackling Garrus to the ground. Kaidan watched them wrestle for a bit. 

“Finally!” Wrex bellowed as Kaidan and John exited the house. “I'm glad you're up and about.” He smacked Kaidan lightly on the arm before turning back to the large stack of fireworks. One by One the fireworks were lit. Springing up into the air only to erupt into magnificent hues. Several changed color, starting out either blue or green only to change into white, gold or purple. The shrill whistle that they made as they went up didn't help Kaidan's headache that was now coming back with a vengeance, but he was comforted by a strong arm draped around his shoulders. 

Kaidan's yawn highlighted as a firework went up in a burst of white, drawing the attention of John. John's arm tightened around Kaidan's shoulders. “Tired are you?” He said. It was hard to tell what shade of brown Kaidan's eyes were. The darkness made his eyes look black, but with shower of sparks Kaidan's eyes looked almost like honey with small streaks of green, blue, or gold depending on the firework. 

“Yeah. A little.” Kaidan rubbed his eye, and in the process made himself look considerably younger. John turned to the small crowed and walked Kaidan to Wrex, who was pleased with himself. 

“Wrex. Thanks for the invite. I gotta go now.” John said. “I got to get Kaidan home before he falls asleep in your yard.”

“No problem Shepard.” Wrex replied, shaking John's hand. “Kaidan, I hope to see you sometime.” Wrex held out his hand for Kaidan to shake.

“You too and thank you for letting me come to your party. I had a lot of fun.” Wrex smirked at this. 

“I'm glad. Do me a favor would you?” Wrex asked.

“Sure.” Kaidan answered. 

“Keep this man,” Wrex gestured with his head to John, who in return rolled his eyes. “Keep this man out of trouble. I hate to see him back at the station in handcuffs for doing something stupid.” 

“Hey. That was one time. Also,” John shrugged, “How was I supposed to know that stealing a mailbox is a felony?” 

Wrex crossed his arms. “You're dad was a police officer at the time.” Kaidan yawned again, which caused John's ever so short attention span to snap back to the mission at hand. 

“Oh. Right.” John said. He cupped his hands together and put them to his mouth. “Hasta bitches!” He yelled. No body turned around but they waved at them. Except for Jack. She gave them the finger. Kaidan gave a sleepy grin at the sight and let himself be guided to John's truck. 

“You stole a mailbox?” Was the first thing Kaidan said once inside the truck. 

“Hey,” John replied starting the truck, “I pulled a lot of pranks that just happen to be felonies.” 

“Is that why Wrex asked me to keep you out of trouble?” Kaidan questioned.

“Yeah.” 

 

The rest of the ride was a blur. At some point Kaidan fell asleep. Shepard noticed when he was at Kaidan's apartment building. Kaidan's head was against the cold glass and the lights above the door cast a soft glow against his face, highlighting his cheek bones and making him look years younger. Shepard tried over and over to rouse him. Shepard got out of the truck and went to Kaidan's side and with great care opened his door. He undid Kaidan's seat belt and, for the most part, carried Kaidan to his bed. 

He stripped him out of his jeans and put him under the covers. He looked at Kaidan's sleeping form for a second, letting himself relive years in just a mere moment. Shepard kissed Kaidan on the forehead. “Good night, darling. See you Monday.” With that he left. 

 

Kaidan woke up to the obnoxious sound of his alarm. Technically the sound wasn't obnoxious, considering it was the opening theme to _RWBY_ , but the thought of getting out of bed left him groaning. He threw back the covers and silenced his phone. He went downstairs to brew himself a cup of coffee, trying hard not sneer at everything in his path. He let his nerves get the better of him and keep him up pretty much all night, though, he wasn't a morning person to begin with. Today was his first day as the receptionist at _Normandy Auto Repair_ and he was a little more on edge than normal. He knew that with John as his boss that there was no way he was going to do absolutely horribly, but he was a little intimidated by what he thought Jack's opinion of him. 

He drowned the thoughts out with coffee and chose to think about what had happened that weekend. For the most part it was uneventful. He had spent his time trying to reduce the number of books in the que his mother recommended and binged watched _Attack on Titan_. Other than that, he just lounged around in his pajamas and taken a few calls. 

He sighed, sat his cup in the sink to be washed later, and went back upstairs to get ready for his first day. He had taken a shower the night before so it was just a matter of picking his clothes. He went to his closet, staring at what seemed like an endless abyss of shirts and jackets. He ended up randomly picking a shirt that he got while staying with his parents in Vancouver. It was a black shirt with a samurai on it. The person he got it from, Emily Wong, said that it was _Samurai Deeper Kyo_. He'd only spent a little time with her, but from what he could tell she was an anime enthusiast. 

After picking his shirt, Kaidan went to pick out his jeans. Most of his jeans were light in color and he was tempted to pick them, but he had to think about being able to get his clothes dirty if he had to. So he picked one of his darker pair. The next biggest decision was his socks. He had dozens of novelty pairs. He ended up going with batman argyle style. He dressed quickly, not wanting to waste anymore time, and hurried through the rest of the routine. 

 

Kaidan walked up to the open garage door timidly. There was still dew on the ground giving the grass, that was in desperate need of mowing, a beautiful shine. The garage itself was attached to what looked like a house. The outside of the house was in a horrid state of disrepair. The white paint was peeling of the siding, leaving bits of beige peeking out. The front door had bits of glass imbedded in it, along with small craters that looked like they were caused by someone trying to get in. The garage though, didn't look that way. The door was raised, but appeared like it was freshly installed. The exterior walls seemed to be made of concrete that was painted beige. Kaidan could have sworn that the concrete floor was brand knew, if he hadn't seen the oil stains first. Inside the garage were three cars and a motorcycle. 

A black '67 Chevy Impala sat on blocks with the hood up and a door caved in. It was hard to tell from his distance at the door but Kaidan thought he saw two dents the sizes of a man's fists near the center of the hood. A light blue 2006 Ford Taurus sat next to the Impala. From what Kaidan could see it was getting its tires changed. A black 2016 Toyota Sequoia, or what was left of it anyway, sat on the end next to the motorcycle. It made Kaidan think of the police cruiser him and John towed out of Kruban. He hoped who ever responsible was okay. 

“Are you going to stand there all day or are you coming in?” a voice called to him. 

“Good morning, Steve.” Kaidan responded. Kaidan entered in very small steps. “Where's Jack and John?” Steve looked up from his work at a small desk in the corner of the garage. 

“Jack is gone to get some bleach, don't ask me why. I do not know. Shep is busy taking a call. He'll be out in a moment.” Steve went back to typing on the computer. 

“Yes. I know sir.” John came out of the house with a phone in his hand and was pinching the bridge of his nose. When he looked at Kaidan his eyes screamed help me. Kaidan whispered emergency, and John, as always, got the hint. “Sir. Sir, I'm going to have to call you back. An emergency just came up that needs my absolute attention.” With that John hung up. 

He beamed at Kaidan. “Good morning, Kaidan.” 

“Morning. So what's on the agenda today?” John chuckled, clearly liking Kaidan's enthusiasm. 

“First we get you trained. Steve,” he motioned to Steve with his thumb, “will be your instructor today. I have a better way with people but he actually knows what he's doing.” Kaidan nodded. He was a little sad that John wasn't going to train him but he understood. He had to do his job right. John had already helped Kaidan with his tax information, using it as an excuse to go to Kaidan's house and talk for a couple of hours. 

Kaidan went to move toward where Steve was sitting, only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder. “Relax Kaidan. We're all friends here and I know you can do this. We have faith in you.” John gave him a wink before disappearing back into the house. 

“He's right you know,” Steve stated, “about us having faith in you. Besides, this is easy. Come here I'll show you.” Kaidan went around to stand behind Steve. On the computer screen he saw a spreadsheet with three names in the first column. The columns afterward held information like address, phone number, their vehicle make and model, the damage done and the repair. Steve was currently creating a column that read 'fee'. 

“Why is the Impala not on that list?” Kaidan questioned. Steve turned the chair to get up. 

“It's Shepard's car. He hasn't used it in a while, favoring the tank he calls 'the Mako', but he's been binge watching _Supernatural_ again and it got him in the mood to fix it.” Steve sighed. “I swear that man's insane. Amazing. But also insane.” Steve gestured with his hand to the chair, silently telling Kaidan to sit. Kaidan took the seat and Steve handed him three sheets of paper.  
“We print out our estimates so the person wont loose the information and can figure out their budget. The numbers in blue ink and horrible hand writing are the additional fees like labor and unexpected replacement parts.” 

“I add them to the estimate and then put them in the fees section right?” Steve nodded and left Kaidan to work on the Taurus. Jack eventually came back, waving a gallon of bleach and raving about some crazy man down by the dollar store ranting about the end times. The owner of the Taurus, a thin elderly man, came by and paid for their services. Kaidan was almost nervous at having such an elderly, fragile really, gentleman behind the wheel. The day was quiet, even the phone barely rung, until a man and his teenage son came barging in. 

The man was dressed in a finely tailored suit with a dark blue tie. His son was dressed in a uniform from one of Palaven's prestigious schools. Both had a look of total disgust on their face. They looked around for a second, clearly trying to find a representative, till they found Kaidan. He was sitting at his desk typing some upcoming appointments on a calender so Shepard, he finally let himself call him that, can keep them later. 

“Do you work here?” The man said after he walked up to him. 

“Yes sir.” Kaidan answered. “How can I help?” 

“How much longer is it going to be on my son's car?” The man demanded crossing his arms. Kaidan looked to the only vehicle left. The van was totaled and Kaidan had no clue if it could even be fixed. 

“I don't know sir. I'd have to check with the mechanic who's working on it.” Kaidan's eyes never left the man, but that didn't mean he didn't notice the man's son's stance change. 

“You didn't even look anything up!” the boy shouted. He picked up the pencil cup and threw it at Kaidan. His father did nothing. 

“We don't keep track of how long we keep something till it's ready to take home. We only start count of when it's finished.” Kaidan recited. 

“This is unacceptable!” The man yelled. “It's been three days! We want it back now!” Kaidan didn't know how to handle the situation and thought he'd seek out the person who would. 

“Let me get the owner of this establishment.” Kaidan said getting up. He was sure the man said something to him but he was already inside of Shepard's house. He shut the door a little harder than necessary and took some breaths to calm himself. Shepard must have heard the door slam because he came running out of the bathroom. 

“Jack how many times do I have to tell you don't slam the-” His words left him when he saw Kaidan on the floor shaking a little. “What's wrong?” He asked crouching to look Kaidan in the eye. 

“Disgruntled customer. Black Sequoia.” Kaidan replied. “Couldn't handle it.” Shepard nodded and lift Kaidan to his feet. 

“Go relax a bit. Calm your nerves. Take a break. You deserve it.” The look on Shepard's face was an unhappy but worried one. Slowly he snaked his arms around Shepard's waist and gave him a tight squeeze. 

“Thank you for looking out for me.” He released him and walked into Shepard's living room. The room itself was oddly familiar. He remembered the walls were white, but are now beige with age and dirt. There were perfect rectangles in the paint that were lighter in color, making Kaidan wonder were Shepard hid the pictures. The room was neat, but didn't have much in it. Kaidan went to the entertainment system. It housed a large television and even larger dvd collection. It had everything from Barbie to Mad Max. There were some pictures on some of the shelves. Most of them were of people he recognized, Tali, Garrus, Wrex, James, but some of them were new faces. He was pulled from his thoughts by distant yelling, and decided to check it out. 

“That Sequoia is totaled. T-O-T-A-L-E-D. Your dumbass son decided to try and race it down a curvy road on a rainy day! He's lucky he isn't dead!” Shepard was livid. He took a deep breath and continued his rant. “You can't expect me to have that train wreck,” He pointed at the van in question. “fixed in three days. I don't have the time or man power. Plus this is Aquila, it takes weeks for me to get the parts I need unless I go get them myself. I don't have time for that. I'll get it done but you have to be patient. I'm good but I'm not a miracle worker.” Shepard turned around and retreated back inside the house leaving a stunned customer and Kaidan behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a roller coaster of emotions. And laughs. Hopefully lots of laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long to update. I had hit a real bad road block and decided to work on my other story, which hit a road block. But I finally have this chapter out. Enjoy.

Kaidan returned to work the next day. News of the incident with Shepard, and the now infamous Sequoia driver, had spread through out the small town. Often times his friends would stop by to congratulate Shepard for putting a snooty, impatient twat, in his place. Kaidan just watched and tried to work. More often than not, he was distracted by the banter between his three co-workers. 

“Come on, Jack.” Shepard yelled above the riffs that were undeniably _Disturbed_. “You knew damn well that I was going to beat you.” 

Jack sneered. “I didn't think you were going to cheat.” Kaidan tried hard not to smile at the commotion. Steve was busy working underneath 'an hour pick-up', a job so simple that a person can drop off their vehicle and pick it up in an hour, and was snickering. 

“You know damn well I don't cheat.” Shepard replied. He crossed his arms and stuck his nose in the air. Jack let out an audible growl which caused Kaidan to laugh. This got the attention of both Shepard and Jack. 

“Will you two cut it out? I'm trying to work here.” Kaidan said shaking his head. Steve chuckled. Jack and Shepard went back to trying to fix the steering wheel of the Sequoia, but they ended their good-natured bickering. Things settled into a nice silence that was only broken by the rich vocals of David Draiman. Kaidan wasn't entirely sure what Shepard was using to play the music, whether it was a handcrafted playlist or if he was using a website like Pandora. 

Eventually the sound of the phone rang out over the music. Shepard glanced over at Kaidan, who had already picked up the phone, and tried his hardest to hear what he was saying. It must have been obvious what he was doing because Jack chose to lay on the horn, which not only scared the piss out of Shepard, but also gained the attention of everyone in the room.

Kaidan shot her a glare and then explained to the person on the phone what roughly happened. Shepard turned to her. “What the fuck?” 

“Didn't your _Daddy_ ever tell you it's impolite to stare?” She countered. Shepard growled, Jack was sure he didn't even know he was doing it.

“I wasn't staring. I was eavesdropping.” He replied, trying to loosen a bolt. 

“Same thing. Besides, you know Kaidan's going to relay the entire conversation to us.” Jack said. Shepard sighed. 

“I know.” He shook his head. He had no clue what he was doing, let alone why he was doing it. “I have no clue where to go with this.” Jack stopped working on detaching the steering wheel from her end and looked up at him. “I want him to remember me so bad. I want him to,” He paused, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. Jack kept quiet. “I want him to come back to me.” 

It was evident that Shepard wasn't going to continue. She got closer to him, making sure that it was impossible for Kaidan to hear them. “You have to jog his memory. He's using this amnesia as a shitty excuse to forget his past instead of being a fucking adult and owning up to it. You know the shit he's been through.” She saw him flinch and take a shuddering breath. 

“Maybe I shouldn't bother then.” He said turning around walking toward the entrance to his house. He tossed the wrench that was in his hand unceremoniously into the standing tool box, only then did Jack move to intercept him. She was a little late. Shepard had already entered the house, slamming the door and locking it behind him. Jack let out a curse and begin to bang on the door. 

“Let me in you fucking idiot.” She yelled. 

“Jack,” Kaidan began, “what the hell did you do?” Jack didn't answer, but kept pounding on the door. It was clear that Shepard wasn't going to answer. She made a decision. She backed up a little and centered herself in front of the door. With one strong kick, the door flew open and she charged inside. 

“You better be taking a shit, asshole.” She yelled. Steve and Kaidan looked at each other. 

“Best not get involved.” Steve stated eventually. “If something's wrong with Shepard and Jack can't solve it, Garrus will.” 

Jack searched the house, room by room, until she found him. He was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands trying to regain some level of self-control. He knew he was being unprofessional, and was willing to take some degree of punishment, but he had to let it out. It was like a dam burst and a great flood of emotion collapsed into him. He felt angry, betrayed, helpless, and ashamed. He was ashamed that he felt so selfish, that he wanted Kaidan so his life could go back to the way it was. He had no clue what to do. He was so very, very, lost.

“You didn't let me finish, fucktard.” Jack broke the silence, causing Shepard to jump. Shepard looked at her. His eyes and face were red and had a slight puffiness to them. “I was _going_ to say that you should make him remember.” 

“I can't force him to do anything.” Shepard replied, his voice low and rough. 

“Sometimes,” She said as she sunk down beside him, “we have to make people own up to things. Whether it be things that they said, things that they did or even things they didn't say or do. Sometimes if we _don't_ say something, if we don't make them take responsibility, they never will. Kaidan is like that. He's scared and needs someone to help him grow a pair.” 

“Or a quad.” Shepard interrupted. 

“Not the point.” She said, her voice laced with anger. “You can sit here and throw yourself a pity party or you can start him on a path that he doesn't have the balls to go down. No matter how badly he wants to.” Jack stood up and Shepard followed her lead. Shepard forced his lips into a tight, thin line, something he did out of habit, and narrowed his eyes. Jack was almost out his bedroom door when he got the nerve to ask his question. 

“Are you telling me to ask Kaidan out on a date?” 

Jack stopped and stood there for a moment. Slowly she turned, revealing wide eyes and an angry set to her jaw. “You're just now figuring that out?” she howled. She narrowed her eyes and let a much calmer, if not angry, tone come to her voice. “You know what? You're a fucking idiot. I'm getting you boring ass books for Christmas.” With that she stormed out of his house and back into the garage. Shepard begin to laugh. Not just because Jack's reaction was funny, but because he genuinely felt like an idiot for misreading his friend. He then sighed. He knew that he was going to have to have that conversation eventually, and he was glad it was over with. He went to the bathroom and washed his face. Figuring it would be best to look at least a little presentable if he was going to ask Kaidan on a date.

When he came out and into the garage, both Steve and Kaidan were staring at him. Kaidan was at what remained of the door and had a very concerned expression on his face. Steve stood at the far end of the garage with his arms crossed over his chest. Shepard tried to ignore the looks like Jack was, but the stares and silence was getting to him.

“I'm fine.” He said before either of them could ask. “Just heard something I didn't want to.” Kaidan put his hand on his shoulder. The touch was light and gentle, as if Kaidan was holding a miniature glass statue.

“You scared me, Shepard.” His voice was sad and weighted with the truth. 

“I'm sorry. Can't say that it won't happen again but I'll try to make it few and far between.” He replied. He looked at Jack who was back to work on the Sequoia, finally pulling the steering wheel out of its place. “So what was that call about?”

Kaidan took his hand off Shepard's shoulder. “It was another bad accident. A motorcyclist was hit by a bug. On the upside, everyone's fine. On the downside, the bug has a human sized dent in it. The local body shop wants our help.” Shepard rolled his head, working out some tension that always seemed to be there. 

“Where's the pick up?” Jack asked walking up to them. 

“It's in Lepini.” Kaidan replied. Shepard turned to Jack. She nodded to the question Shepard didn't even need to ask. 

“We'll bring it in.” Shepard and Jack were already headed toward the big garage door. “Steve, you keep working on that Sequoia. Kaidan do me a solid.” Kaidan let his arms, which he had unknowingly crossed, drop. “If Cortez needs help taking the hood or doors off, can you do it if we're not back?” Kaidan nodded. “See y'all at lunch.” 

 

His thoughts drifted to Shepard, what had caused his emotional outburst. Also how he could go from sunshine and rainbows to a sobbing mess in a matter of seconds. He knew it was something Jack said, but something led him to believe that he's more emotionally unstable than he let on. That he let only a select few see him break down. Kaidan wracked his brain for possible solutions to his inquiries, so much so that he almost didn't hear Shepard calling his name. 

When he realized it, he jumped. He didn't expect Shepard to be so close. Shepard had a hand on either side of the monitor putting almost all of his weight on them. When Kaidan looked into his eyes, _they_ were full of worry. “What's wrong Kaidan? Why are you ignoring me?”

“I wasn't ignoring you.” Kaidan replied letting his eyebrows furrow. “I was just lost in thought.” 

“So that's why you jumped.” Shepard said with a smile. “It's good to know I have amazing sneak skills.” 

Jack's head whipped around. “You have the sneaking skills of a toddler in a kitchen with a bag over it's head after drinking too much chocolate milk.”

Shepard shot her a playful scowl. “Thank you miss marching band.” 

Jack let the middle finger on her left hand shoot up. Shepard rolled his eyes then turned his attention back to Kaidan. Shepard was smiling again, a sight that Kaidan didn't know how badly he missed. Something had put Shepard in a good mood. 

“So Kaidan,” Shepard began, “Jack and Miranda are going to see some shitty movie then go to some shitty dinner. I was wondering if you'd like to tag along. With me.” The look on Shepard's face, which was a combination of anxious and excited, danced on Kaidan's temptation to giggle like a school girl. He grinned instead. 

“As a date?” Kaidan asked.

Shepard pursed his lips a little, but otherwise his expression remained the same. “Yes.” He nodded as the word left his mouth. 

“What day?” Kaidan tilted his head. 

Shepard smiled. Jack had been right. _Of course she was right._ He mentally chastised himself. _She's always right._ “It's this Friday.” 

Kaidan grin broadened. “I would love to go.” 

“I'll pick you up around seven. Is that alright?” 

Kaidan nodded. “I should probably get back to work” 

Shepard took that as his que to stop leaning on Kaidan's desk and walk back to the Sequoia. Jack was busy trying to fix the steering column and Steve was still working on hammering out the dents. Jack must have watched the entire exchange because she gave a soft grin as Shepard approached. 

 

The rest of the day went in a blur. They went to _Apollo's_ for lunch and had a couple more pick ups, but other than that it was quiet. Kaidan didn't have much left to do today so he got a good idea to go to the library and check out a book. The library didn't have too many people in it. It looked like it wasn't used for much, which in this day and age wasn't entirely surprising. What was surprising was a thin girl with her hair wrapped in a purple scarf next to a row of computers. 

“Hey, Tali.” Kaidan said as he approached. 

Tali bumped her knee on the table as she jumped, muttering “boshtet” under her breath. She turned to Kaidan and smiled. “Kaidan, how are you?” 

“I'm fine. How are you? Sorry about your knee.” Kaidan gestured to the knee Tali hit and was trying not to absently rub. 

“It's okay, doesn't even hurt anymore. I'm fine, by-the-way. Didn't expect to see you here.” She sounded genuinely shocked. 

“Yeah, uh, I could say the same thing about you.” He countered. 

“Oh, I was called in to fix the computers.” She motioned with a hand to said computers. “Normally they would call Shepard for these 'types' of things, but Shepard is technologically impaired when it comes to programming.” 

Kaidan tipped his head slightly as he let out a hushed 'ah'. “I came to check out a book or two.” 

Tali nodded and asked, “do you have a particular book in mind or just came to browse?” 

“My mother wants me to read _The Fault in Our Stars_ I figured that the sooner I read it, the sooner I can talk about it with her.” Kaidan could imagine his mother talking frantically about the book. He'd just nod his head, even though she couldn't see him, and go 'uh-huh, uh-huh' when it seemed appropriate. 

Tali perked up when he mentioned the book. “Oh, you'll love _The Fault in Our Stars_. It's tragic but funny at the same time.” 

Kaidan laughed a bit. “Yeah. My mom's been trying to get me to read it for a while.” 

Tali pointed to some shelves to the right. “It's on those shelves over there.”

“Thanks, Tali. I'll let you get back to work.” With that Kaidan went in the direction that Tali pointed. It took him a little while for him to find what he was looking for. On his way out another book caught his eye. He'd seen it at the bookstore before he moved back but wasn't sure that he wanted to read it. The book, _Fifty Shades of Grey_ , was starring him in the face, almost taunting him, for passing it up. He looked around to see if anyone would see him pick it up. There weren't. He slowly reached for the book. With both of the books in hand, he went to check out. 

The woman at the check out was tall, thin, and had shoulder length blond hair. She was hunched over a book and looking at it with the most curious look on her face. She wore a black leather jacket over her gray shirt. Kaidan could have sworn she didn't notice him, but she did. 

“Hello, Mr. Alenko.” She said. She didn't bother to look up from her book, but she did stand a little straighter. “Do you have your library card with you today?”

He hesitated, but only for a moment. “Uh, yeah.” He pulled his wallet from his back pocket and began to search through the slots for his card. “It might be a little out of date though.” He handed it to her. 

“I'm sure it will be alright.” Finally, she looked up from her book. Kaidan realized that orange rimmed glasses framed her green eyes, and she wore a name tag. He didn't bother reading it. He was fairly sure he was supposed to recognize this woman. Of course, that's how he felt about many people he ran into in Aquila. 

He put the two books down on the counter for her to scan. She picked up the first one and scanned the bar code, handing it to him. “Is your book good?” Kaidan asked. He didn't know what else he could say. 

“It is as I expected it to be. However, it is exceptionally better than the movie.” She was done scanning the other book and was busy scanning his card. It wasn't till she had mentioned it that he got a good look at what was on the open page. He smirked. It was _Harry Potter_. 

“I like the books better too.” He put his card back into it's appropriate slot in his wallet and picked up his books. “Bye.” He said with a wave. 

“See you soon, Mr. Alenko.” She went back to her book.

Kaidan walked out of the library with his books in his hand. The weather had changed from clear blue skies to dark clouds overhead. It wasn't something major, Kaidan doubt that it would rain, but something in him told him that it was time to get home. He walked up to his truck and opened the door. Once he was inside he threw his books in the passenger seat and then stuck the key in the ignition.  


The drive to his apartment was boring, yet there wasn't much to see. For what ever reason Kaidan was hoping for something to take his attention away from driving. Like he _needed_ a distraction and was desperately trying to find it, although he was clueless as to why. 

He wondered if it had something with Shepard. He started to drum his thumbs on the steering wheel as he waited at a red light. He figured it did, not because he was anxious about his date with him, because every time he thought of Shepard he thought there was something incredibly important he was forgetting. He knew he couldn't help it. It seemed daunting, trying to remember something that felt like the entire world depended on this one thing. Maybe it did. 

Kaidan didn't have to wait too much longer for the light to turn green so he could finally turn into his apartment complex. He was happy to pull into the space reserved just for him, and go upstairs to his coffee maker. He put his books on the counter. It took him no time to find his custom RWBY mug. He picked up the first book in his new que and decided to read while he drank his coffee. After words Kaidan cooked then began his nightly ritual. It had been a long day. 

 

 _He could see him perfectly. Mark's face as he stood next to Garrus at the altar. Kaidan himself was waiting at the opposite side with the other brides maids. Technically he was the maid of honor, which was incredibly embarrassing but he would do anything for Tali. The church was packed. James stood next to Joker, who was standing next to Mark. They wore matching suits, black with gray vests and blue ties. The only distinguishing factor for Garrus was the deep purple square handkerchief intricately folded in his breast pocket._

_“I'm so excited.” Liara said. She was wearing a long, flowing purple dress. The other brides maids was dressed similarly._

_“I can't believe Tali is finally getting married.” Ashley replied. Ashley looked stunning as always. Even with her hair in a bun at the center of her head, you could tell that she took the time to curl it._

_“I'm just glad that nobody has passed out yet.” Sam was struggling to keep her balance in her heels._

_Kaidan smiled. It was nice, even if he was as nervous as the day he got married to Mark. He twisted the gold band on his finger a couple times. It gave him some level of comfort. It wasn't long till the people in the pews stood and turned to the doors as they opened. A small boy carried the rings on a small pillow. A tiny girl carrying a small Easter basket started dropping red and white rose petals. Behind her Tali came in._

_She was in a traditionally white dress, in the middle of the dress was a purple sash. Her long dark hair was left mostly untouched and, unlike usual, she wasn't wearing a doctor's mask. They could see her smile. Garrus swayed a little when he saw it, causing Mark's to turn into a silent chuckle. On her arm was her father. His eyes were filled to the brim with pride. Then he saw Garrus. He narrowed his eyes in warning, but Garrus never saw. He only saw Tali._

 

Friday came at such a sluggish pace Kaidan thought he was going to lose his mind. He had spent Tuesday through Thursday fidgeting in his seat at work. When breaks came, he was tempted to work through them, even lunch. Jack had to practically drag him out to _Apollo's_ to eat. He tried not to look like he was excited but it was getting harder and harder to do as the week progressed. 

When Friday finally came Kaidan practically vibrated with anticipation. Shepard had come to his desk Thursday morning to tell him they were going to go to _Xanadu's Rockin Perfection_ to eat. He hurried to get ready for work, however he took the time to make sure he did every thing he needed to and make sure he did it right. He checked to make sure he had his wallet, keys and phone before heading out. 

Traffic on the way to _Normandy_ was light and Kaidan was glad for that. Shepard was always the first one at the garage, mostly because he owned the house it was attached to. Kaidan began to become the second one there after Wednesday, an accident on his part. The garage was empty, not even Shepard's music played. He assumed it was because it wasn't time for Jack or Steve to arrive. He opened the garage door and walked in. He decided to set up for when Jack and Steve arrived. He looked at the order on their various vehicles and set out the tools that they would need. 

Shepard must have heard him rattling the tools because he came out dressed in regular jeans and holding a cup of coffee. He looked at Kaidan with a blank expression. “What. On. Earth. Are. You. Doing. Here. So. God. Damn. Early?”

“Sorry.” He gave an apologetic smile. “I thought the faster we get to work, the more work we could get done.” 

Shepard grunted in response but walked up to him. He gracelessly threw an arm around Kaidan then kissed him on the cheek. A faint blush blossomed on Kaidan's face. “Whatcha doin?” 

Kaidan hesitated for a second. “Uh, putting the tools Jack and Steve will need next to their vehicles.”

“Oh.” Shepard states sleepily. “I'll let ya get back to it then.” Shepard removes his arm, and his weight, from Kaidan's person.

Kaidan sighs and immediately misses it. Jack came in not long after that. She was dressed much in her usual fashion, her hair back in a ponytail with a dark tank top and dark jeans. It took her a few seconds to noticed Kaidan. When she did, she stopped in her tracks and stared at him blinking. Kaidan smiled at her.

“Hi, Jack.” He said adding a more chipper tone. 

Jack continued to blink at him, but she began to head toward him. She didn't say anything. Not this early any way. Steve was the next to come in. He too was startled by Kaidan's behavior. Steve went to his work station and gave a tiny grin. He wouldn't say he wasn't pleased with Kaidan's thoughtfulness, but it was going to cost him a few cents. 

Shepard came in with a blank look on his face but seemed more awake. He looked around at his team, nodding approvingly. He then turned to the cradle for his phone, laid said phone in said cradle, and pushed play. Kpop began to play through the speakers. 

“In a good mood, Shep?” Steve asked. 

“What makes you say that?” Shepard knew exactly what made him say that.

“You only play 2NE1 when you're in a good mood.” Steve replied. 

“The idiot and the nerd have a date tonight.” Jack answered for him. 

Shepard shot her a glare. “I'm not an idiot and Kaidan's not a nerd. Get to work.” 

 

Too slowly. Much too slowly, is how one could describe the time it took for _Normandy_ to shut down for the day. Shepard and Kaidan spent that time stealing glances at one another while the others pretended not to notice. Jack headed home first, saying that she needed the time to get ready. Steve went home second, citing that he had some errands to run. Kaidan waved goodbye to Shepard and headed out the door. 

Once Kaidan was out the door, Shepard began his mini-nuclear meltdown. He pushed his hands into his short hair and began pacing. His long legs made it easy for him to cross the room in a few strides. All of a sudden he stopped pacing, straightened his posture and walked into his house. 

“Okay, now that you've got that out of the way. Time to get ready. First let's take a shower.” Shepard said to himself. Talking out loud about what he was going to do made it easier for him to do it, especially if he was as nervous as he is now. 

He didn't spend long in the shower, but he made sure to get everything. Just in case. He hopped out of the shower and ran into his bedroom digging hastily through his closet for a decent shirt for dinner and a movie. This should be easy, not only because he had done it before, but because he knew Kaidan. He reached for a dark shirt that bore _The Godfather_ logo on it. It was heavily faded, but it was on there. He buzzed around getting underwear, pants, socks and his favorite leather jacked before heading out the door. Only to turn around and head back in. He put on some deodorant and sprayed some cologne before going back out and to his impala. 

He had spent the days leading up to this working on it in secret. The small town had a regular movie theater, which he tried to avoid as much as possible, and an old drive in. He'd promised Jack that if she brought a 'shit-ton' of pop corn he would bring a 'fuck-ton' of beer. So he had to make a pit stop along the way. He got in the impala and opened the garage doors. 

 

The drive to Kaidan's was short. “ _It should have been shorter._ ” Shepard says to himself. He honks his horn once and sees Kaidan look out his window. Shepard smiles and waves only to get a wave in return. He could see Kaidan practically run from his window to the door. Kaidan jogged out the front door and up to the impala. He slides in quite gracefully, more than Shepard would have, and quietly shuts the door. 

“Going hunting are we?” Kaidan joked. 

Shepard laughed. “Nah, just old school. Jack and I thought it'd be a good idea to go to the old drive in.” 

Kaidan beamed. “It's been forever since I've been to a drive in. What movie are they playing?” 

Shepard felt like his face was going to split in two. “ _She's All That_.” 

Kaidan sighed. “I love Freddie Prinze Jr. He is such an amazing actor.” 

“Just as long as your not in love with Freddie Prinze Jr I'm inclined to agree with you.” Shepard backed out of the parking spot and began to drive to the liquor store. He saw the questioning look on Kaidan's face and answered him before he could ask the question. “I made Jack a promise.”

Kaidan nodded his understanding, but was otherwise quiet. The silence between them was unbearable. At least it was for Shepard. He opened his mouth to say something but Kaidan beat him to it. 

“Is Tali married?” He asked. It was a simple question and certainly one that threw Shepard off guard. 

“Yeah.” Shepard turned to look at Kaidan's face. “Why do you ask?” 

“I had a dream the other night,” He began, “I think it was a dream. I saw you and Garrus and Tali. She wore the most beautiful dress.” Kaidan stopped suddenly. Shepard once again took his eyes off the road to look at him. The expression on Kaidan's face was one of confusion. “I can't remember the rest of the dream.” 

Shepard resisted the urge to sigh. He pulled into the liquor store and promised to make the trip quick, before running inside. The chime above the door alerted the clerk to his arrival. He didn't look at the guy, didn't have to, to know that there was a scowl on the man's face. Shepard went to get a few six packs, ignoring the rest of the patrons in there. When he put the beer on the counter for the man to ring up, the man's scowl deepened. It was a feat few could have thought possible. 

“Shepard,” the man's voice was thick with an accent, “do not make me call Wrex.” 

“That was one time.” Shepard countered, slamming money down next to the register. 

The man didn't grace him with a response, just rung up his booze and let him be on his way. Every time he visited the liquor store in recent years, the man brought up his old 'demon' as he put it. Shepard admitted long ago that he had a problem and dealt with it. Now he could enjoy his old coping mechanism with little consequence. 

Shepard threw the alcohol in the backseat then took his place behind the wheel. “That didn't take long.” Kaidan said.

“Never does.” Shepard replied. “Story for another day.” He knew Kaidan was giving him a look, he didn't have to turn to see it. “Let's go see that movie, shall we?”

 

Jack and Miranda were already parked and were arguing by the time Shepard and Kaidan pulled up. Shepard sighed when he caught sight of them. It looked like Jack started this on purpose to try and get some make up sex after dinner or maybe even skip dinner and head straight home. Shepard rolled down the window so he could speak to Jack. 

“Hey, did you bring the popcorn?”

Kaidan let out a noise of surprise when he saw a large, cylindrical tin being forced through the window. He looked out the windshield to see Miranda laughing and could see the reflection of Shepard's face. Which was not surprised in the slightest. 

“Got the beer?” 

Shepard handed her a six pack after adjusting the position of the tin. “You know the guy cuts me off at two.” 

Jack only nodded then pointed to the screen. Shepard reached out and pulled a speaker into the impala. He then opened the tin and sat it in the floor between him and Kaidan. He was going to go easy on the beer tonight, so Kaidan didn't have to.

 

They were at the part where they were at the beach when Shepard's phone rang. Shepard cursed and dug around in his pockets to find it. “Yeah?” He whispered. 

“Is this John Shepard of _Normandy Auto Repair_?” The voice on the phone was familiar and that bothered him. 

“Yes it is.” Shepard said. He spoke louder but still not in his regular tone. He turned to Kaidan and mouthed an apology. 

“Shepard this is Doctor Michel at Huerta Memorial in Citadel.” So that's why her voice sounded so familiar. He immediately knew that something very, very bad has happened. “I am calling to tell you that your employee Steven Cortez has been in a serious accident. He is going into surgery as we speak.” 

Shepard hung up on her and slung the speaker back on the cradle. He got up and ran to Jack's side of her car. She made a face but rolled down her window. 

“What asshole?” 

“Steve's hurt. He's at Huerta.” Shepard was shaking. Miranda put the speaker back where it belongs before rolling up her window. “Meet you there?” 

“Meet you there.” Miranda said. 

Kaidan put his hand on Shepard's shoulder when he got back into the car. Shepard turned to see the look of concern on Kaidan's face. The only sound that was heard was the sound of the engine roaring to life. He threw it in reverse and followed Jack out of the parking lot. 

Kaidan didn't like seeing Shepard like that, worry etched into every line of his face. He didn't want to fidget but felt like he should be doing something with his hands. He ended up picking the seam of his pants. Neither of them said anything for a while. This had a negative effect on them both. It just riled Shepard up even more and made the pit in Kaidan's stomach feel like it was made of lead. Kaidan chose to stare out the window while he tried to come up with something to say. He saw the trees zip by and out of the headlights, disappearing into the darkness. 

He could see the lights of the hospital from the main road, a small beacon of hope. The hospital parking lot was illuminated by multiple street lamps, casting a bright white light on the multitude of cars there. Shepard pulled on to the diverging road leading to their destination. 

“There's a lot of people here.” Kaidan said at last. 

“Always is.” Shepard's voice went from a cheery drawl to a monotone clip. Shepard drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel as he waited for a car to move. 

“Bad memories here?” Kaidan questioned. 

Shepard didn't say anything, only nodded. 

“I'm sorry.” 

Shepard sighed. “It's not your fault.” He was quiet for a moment before adding, “It's not anyone's fault.” 

Shepard pulled into a parking space next to Jack. They were a few rows away from the door but could walk in a straight line to it. He got out and went to Kaidan's side to open his door before Kaidan did. Kaidan followed Shepard through the parking lot and front doors to the main desk. Jack and Miranda were already there waiting for them. 

Jack's arms were crossed and she had a sour look on her face. Miranda was standing, talking to the receptionist trying to find Steve's room. Kaidan felt Shepard tense up next to him and took his hand. That earned a look from him. One that was bitter sweet. 

“I'm sorry but I can't tell you where Mr. Cortez is.” The receptionist said. 

“And why not?” Miranda asked. “All we want to know is what part of the hospital he's in. If you don't tell us I'll call my doctor friend Mordin and find out.” 

The woman sighed admitting defeat. “He's in the critical care wing. Down the hall turn left. Just follow the signs. The reason I didn't tell you is because only family is allowed to see him.”

“We are family.” Jack replied.

“We're the only family he's got.” Shepard added.

They turned and followed the woman's directions. Shepard threaded his fingers through Kaidan's and gave it a light squeeze. Jack put her arm around Miranda's shoulders. Kaidan was genuinely uncomfortable by being in the hospital. It was like the hospital was trying to loosely mimic a hotel. Not only that but it was like a maze. Just getting to the hall that the woman pointed them to was a challenge, there wasn't many signs and too many doors. 

Eventually a loud booming laugh led them to their destination. They saw two familiar faces in police uniforms. Garrus was flushed red and was trying his hardest to smooth his hair down. Wrex was laughing his ass off so much so he was in tears. The nurse behind the desk was hiding a chuckle behind her hand, and Steve could be seen laughing lightly through the glass. 

“It's not that funny.” Garrus said. 

“What's not funny?” Jack asked. 

“I swear to you Shepard it was like watching a scene from an old cartoon.” Wrex doubled over in another bout of laughter and Garrus just crossed his arms. Wrex wrapped his arms around his stomach when he finally came up for air. “Garrus spotted a pretty nurse on his way to talk to Cortez and his hair decided that it was the perfect time to stand straight up.” 

“First of all, it wasn't because I thought she was pretty, it was because of my shitty hair gel. Second of all, I have a wife. And thirdly, fuck you.” Garrus retorted. 

Shepard, Jack, Miranda, Kaidan and Wrex dove into a fit of laughter. When they were done Shepard shook his head. Miranda shifted her weight and crossed her arms. 

“You should have lead with the wife, Vakarian.” Her voice no longer held any tension. 

“I'm going to go talk to the victim.” He said clasping a hand on Wrex's shoulder. Garrus walked off and everyone followed him with their eyes. All of the focus was back onto Steve, but the tone was lighter. They could see him in his room through the glass. He was sitting up slightly and had a very tired look on his face. Vakarian timing is that of legend. A long with Joker. Some how, they just knew what to do, whether it be purpose or accidental, to make a situation a little less dire. 

Tension was no longer in Shepard's shoulders. Jack's face was back to her 'I wouldn't recommend speaking to me but I'm secretly cool with it' resting face. Miranda's tone was more relaxed and Kaidan didn't feel like fidgeting anymore. Wrex smoothed out his uniform then put his hand's on his hips. 

“I'm going to assume Dr. Michel gave you a call.” He said. 

“You assume correctly.” Shepard replied. 

“Let me give you what we know then.” Wrex motioned to for them to go into an empty waiting room and took a seat. They followed suit, sitting together and facing him. “Around 9:15 pm a car accident was reported on route seven heading into Vecchio. The victim was going around 59 miles per hour when a dark car sped passed to get in front of him. The dark car slammed on the brakes suddenly causing Cortez to hit him. The dark car then sped away. Before Cortez could process had happened he was rear ended and the car flipped on him a couple of times.”

Shepard held his head in his hands. Jack was visibly shaking in her seat, anger was etched into every corner of her face. Kaidan had no idea what to do. He hadn't known Steve for very long but wanted to support his co-workers. He put his hand on Shepard's knee hoping to give him some comfort. Garrus stood in the door way. 

“Cortez is asleep now. The doctor's having him moved to a different wing of the hospital. Not entirely sure which one though.” 

Shepard nodded. He didn't trust his voice.

“We're going to find this bastard, Shepard.” Wrex said. 

Shepard believed him. He always believed him. Wrex was one of few people that Shepard truly trusted. He was part of the original 'gang' as they called it. He was the one who found Shepard while he was with the reds. He was the one who talked Anderson into adopting him, though Hackett helped. Wrex was the one who stopped Shepard before he did something illegal, just so it wouldn't get him arrested. Wrex let Garrus do the criminal activities for Shepard because he wouldn't get caught. 

Wrex was a second father to him as well as a friend. He was also the best damn police officer Aquila had since Anderson retired. He trusted every word that came out of the man's mouth and knew that when he said he was going to do something, he was going to do it. 

Shepard nodded and stood up. He placed his hands on his hips and looked at the older man. The look was fierce and it chilled Kaidan to the bone. “Make him wish he was dead.”

Wrex stood up and walked out, Garrus right behind him. “Wilco.” He yelled over his shoulder.

The moment was ruined by Jack yawning. Shepard checked his phone. It was 11:30 and the gang was tired. It was evident by the looks on their faces and their posture. The night had been a roller coaster of emotions and now it was time to get off the ride. 

“Why don't we go home, hmm? Catch up on some z's.” Shepard put his hand on Kaidan's shoulder. Kaidan let his mouth turn up in a soft grin.

“After this night I think we need it.” He stood up and took Shepard's hand again, half because it was nice to hold his hand and half because he was sure his eyes were going to close at some point and didn't want to run into a wall. Shepard didn't mind. 

Jack stood up as well and offered a hand to Miranda. She took it graciously and let herself be hoisted up. The group walked in silence passed Steve's room. They saw him through the glass, sleeping peacefully. There were cuts on his face and he had a black eye. They didn't stay long enough to really inspect him. Shepard nodded to a red headed doctor, who nodded back. 

Kaidan was right about closing his eyes. He noticed when he felt his arm be pulled in another direction and a soft chuckle came from Shepard. “Don't laugh at me.” 

“I'm not.” Shepard said softly, still chuckling.

“Ya are too.” Kaidan countered.

“Am not.” Shepard retorted. 

“Have a silly boyfriend.” Kaidan mumbled. 

“What was that?” Shepard asked. 

“Nothing.” 

Shepard opened the car door for Kaidan, who was eternally grateful. He was quiet after he got behind the wheel. Kaidan looked at him and found his head on the steering wheel. 

“I'm sorry our date got interrupted.” 

“It's okay. It's not like you could have predicted that this would happen.” 

Shepard didn't answer but he did lift his head off the wheel. “Go to sleep Kaidan. I'll wake you up when we get home.” 

Kaidan didn't focus on what Shepard had said, but he put his head to the window and fell asleep. Shepard was true to his word and woke him up once he got to his apartment. He opened both doors for him and waited till Kaidan disappeared behind the elevator doors before returning to the car. It was a long night for both of them and both of them were asleep as their head hit the pillow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a bit side tracked with what I wanted to happen. The chapter just kind of went in its own direction for a while, but still (in my opinion) turned out a well. This is unbetad so please forgive any mistakes that you see and feel free to bring them to my attention. I will do my best to correct them. Also thank you for being patient.

Kaidan woke up with sore muscles and a crick in his neck. The nightmares he has had for a while became more prominent after last nights events and caused him to toss and turn till he fell asleep in an odd position. It was finally the weekend, and Kaidan had a lot planned. Planned wasn't actually the word to use. He had a lot of things he wanted to get done but doing nothing was good too.

He stretched, hoping that the movement would loosen up tension left in him. It didn't. He went downstairs and fixed himself some breakfast. He sat down sloppily, causing his spoon to bang against his plate. He had decided a while ago that he was going to try to jog his own memory and that he might as today was as good as any to begin. He went to the living room and got his laptop. Once he had it, he made it back to his plate and booted it up. 

He sat there for a while just staring at his background. He had no idea where to begin. He thought of all the people he met. He could do Shepard, but something in his gut told him that that was a bad idea. _Yeah. It's a bad idea to google my own boyfriend_. He thought. His hands hovered over the keys for a second. He debated that decision for a good while, why it would be a bad idea. While it was good to play safe, it could break what little trust they had between each other. He could also discover something that could make working with the man incredibly awkward. No. It couldn't be Shepard. It had to be someone else. 

In the end he picked James. He had already remembered something absolutely horrible about the man and hadn't let that change any interactions that they had. He could probably deal with looking him up. At least he hoped. Kaidan put James's name in the search bar and hit enter. Various news articles came up about James's life, as well as various other James's. 

 

**Body Found In Woods. No suspects.**

It was a headline that filled Kaidan with dread. 

**The body of Joshua Sanders, 33, has been discovered in the woods badly decomposed. Police chief David Anderson believes that the rising bear population was responsible for his death. Sander's sudden death has left the town wondering who will get custody of his teenage son, James Vega. Vega is currently staying with his uncle Emilio Vega.**

 

Kaidan exited the page with a sigh. They had found his body but James had not been arrested. He read similar articles and in each one various locals had been accusing James of the crime. Most of those who blamed him were those who ran with his dad. They knew that with Sanders gone they would never be able to get to James again. That thought made Kaidan ecstatic. 

He continued his research, discovering that James had graduated from a community college and began working as a fry cook at _Apollo's_ after leaving the navy. James's life turned out alright despite his rough beginnings. The sound of Kaidan's phone going off brought him out of his musings. He smiled at the caller I.D. 

“Hi, Mom.” Kaidan said. 

“Hi, sweetie. How are you?”  
“I'm good. How are you?” Kaidan could feel his mom pause on the other end. She was either looking for her words or was hiding something. Neither one was a good thing. 

“I am well. Your father had another one of his spells-he's alright Kaidan, just a bit sore. We're at the house in Aquila. We'll be here for a few days, so there is no excuse for you not to see your dear old mother Kaidan.” She let an air of authority seep into the last part of her sentence. 

“Okay, I'll visit.” 

“I should get off of here. Your father keeps asking me to turn up the heat.”

“I'll let you go then.” Kaidan said with a chuckle. “Love you Mom.” 

“Love you too, sweetie. Bye dear.”

“Bye.” Kaidan hung up his phone and sat back in his chair. He sat there, in the silence, for a moment. He pursed his lips as if he had decided something and got up. He went to his bedroom, got dressed, picked up his phone, keys and wallet and walked out the apartment door.

 

The silence of the truck was interrupted by the bass of music from a near by vehicle. Kaidan saw the culprit, a man with spiked up hair and sunglasses. He was bobbing his head to the tunes and every one around him hated them. Kaidan tried to look ahead of him, but it was getting increasingly difficult as the guy began singing. He was way off in both key and octave and it was slowly getting on Kaidan's nerves. 

Eventually the light turned green and Kaidan started down the path toward the hospital. Kaidan heard the bump and felt his truck shake. The obnoxious man had failed his turn (he'd been in the wrong lane) and his front met Kaidan's. Kaidan drove on so he could pull over and the man aggressively followed him. The man probably thought Kaidan was going to run and sped up considerably, only to rear end him and push him much more forward than Kaidan would have liked. Kaidan sat there stunned. It didn't take him long to recover, and when he did he got out of his truck slowly.

The guy was at his door and had his arms crossed. The loathsome music had stopped, but that did little for Kaidan's nerves. Before Kaidan could step onto the pavement the man reached up, grabbed him by the shirt, and threw him down. Kaidan's arms went in front of his face when he saw a shoe draw back. 

The man kicked him and kicked him and kicked him for what felt like the longest time. _What happened?_ Kaidan thought to himself. _Why is this happening?_

“Freeze!” The voice was accented but Kaidan recognized it. “Kruban police.” 

Kaidan looked up to see Javik. He had his gun drawn and trained on the man's head. Also, he looked pissed. In a second a police cruiser pulled up next to Javik's 1999 Toyota avalon. Wrex got out and drew his gun. 

“We've been over this Tim-Tam.” Wrex began, “You can't just kick people's asses, _literally_ , just because they piss you off.”

“He cut me off.” Tim-Tam said. 

“I didn't.” Kaidan said wiping his bloody lip. He didn't recall exactly when he'd been kicked there after the beating his stomach was taking. “He was in the wrong lane.” It was the wrong thing to say because Tim-Tam reeled his foot back to kick him again. 

“Do it. I dare you.” Javik narrowed his eyes and the guy just eased his foot back into place. 

Wrex walked up to Tim-Tam and arrested him throwing him in the back of his cruiser while reading him his rights. Javik put his gun away and went to help Kaidan up. There was a scowl on Javik's face and it was hard to tell if it was genuine or not. 

“Just what Shepard needs.” Javik said “Another employee in the hospital.” 

Kaidan rested his back against his truck. He didn't say anything to Javik, but he knew he was right. Shepard didn't need his time, or money, wasted. As he sat there an ambulance pulled up, he was injured and it was procedure so he followed the EMT's instructions without question.

 

Of course Kaidan would be sitting on a hospital bed, with a bracelet around his wrist when Shepard walked in. The concern was etched on his face so clearly that Kaidan was unsure if it would ever leave his face. Shepard stood in the door way taking in Kaidan's form. 

“I'm fine.” Kaidan said, smiling as much as his busted lip wold let him.

Kaidan's mom came barreling in at that time, wrapping her arms around Kaidan. Her whispered words of assurance were barely heard, by both Kaidan and Shepard. His father was in a wheel chair, a plaid blanket thrown over him. Shepard moved behind him to push him the rest of the way inside. 

“Kaidan.” He slurred. 

“Dad.” Kaidan got up and went to him. He knelt in front of his father and allowed the man to get a good look at him. His father to his good hand and slapped Kaidan across the face. 

“Raphael!” His mother screeched. 

“The boy didn't call.” Raphael responded. “We had to hear that he'd been in an accident from Johnny.” He shoved his thumb in Shepard's direction. 

“Well don't feel to bad, Raph. I had to hear it from Wrex.” Shepard crossed his arms. “Kaidan, what the hell happened?” 

Kaidan went back to the bed and sat down. He pulled his legs underneath him, a habit that he got from Shepard. His mother sat next to him and began rubbing his back as he shook his head. The room remained silent as they let Kaidan gather his thoughts. 

“I don't know.” Kaidan cast his eyes downward. “They guy hit me. I pulled over. He hit me again. Then he began to beat me.”

Shepard sighed and crossed the room in a few strides. He sat next to Kaidan and kissed his temple. Kaidan's mother kept rubbing circles on his back. They all sat in silence. Shepard didn't know what to say, he searched and searched but nothing in his head sounded right. Kaidan's mother wondered why this would happen and then decided that she may never have the answer that she liked. 

Kaidan shifted, leaning more into Shepard's touch. His mother began to hum. It was a song that he recognized from all the times he went to church with his aunt Karen. It was the same song Karen hummed while comforting his mother after his Nan was diagnosed with cancer. It was the same song that she sung at the funeral. It was the same song Shepard sung to lull him out of that bad memory. It was _Ave Maria_.

Kaidan began to sing along, in classic Latin of course. He couldn't explain it, but the song had always brought him and his family comfort. It took time, but eventually both Kaidan's father and Shepard joined in. Nurses gathered at their door to listen. Some even took out their phones to record the moment. Shepard would have thought that it was an invasion of privacy, if he'd saw it. Kaidan closed his eyes and buried them against the solidness of Shepard's shoulder. 

The nurses left only after a couple of high ranking doctors hand came up behind them and pointed down the halls. Kaidan was glad they did. At that time the song was over and the tension had melted away. One of the doctors that was shooing the nurses away came in. He had shoulder length blond hair and piercing blue eyes. 

“Hello, Mr. Alenko.” He said to Kaidan. 

“Howdy doctor.” Kaidan's father answered. 

The doctor looked at Kaidan's father with a hint of annoyance. Raphael Alenko held his gaze and had the gall to look smug while doing so. Kaidan's mother's voice cut threw Raph's smugness like a hot knife threw butter. 

“That was not funny and you know it.” 

The doctor looked pleased with her. And she looked pleased with her self. He turned back to Kaidan and shoved his hands in his lab coat's pockets. 

“Anyway. I'm doctor Leonard. I'm just going to look you over for Dr. Michel. Tell me if if hurts.” He the proceeded to inspect Kaidan's condition. Carefully placing his hands on Kaidan and gently pushing. He took Kaidan's blood pressure and checked his heart and lugs. It wasn't long till he was sure of everything and satisfied with the results. 

“So how is everything doctor?” Shepard asked. He had his hand over Kaidan's but kept his voice calm and reassuring. 

“Everything is fine.” He clasped his hands together. “You'll be going home soon. Just have to fill out some paper work.” Dr. Leonard turned to leave. Kaidan's mother wrapped her arms around her son and squeezed tightly. 

“I'd knew you'd be okay.” Her voice was full of life and joy. She hardly noticed the staring contest going on between her husband and son's doctor. 

“You sir,” the doctor started, “are not funny.” 

Raph let out an indignant noise. “And you sir, wouldn't know funny if it knocked ya on your noggin.” 

Doctor Leonard sighed and walked out, leaving Raphael sitting in a corner smiling. The smile didn't last to long as Kaidan shifted to get off the hospital bed. His mother moved, as did Shepard, but Raphael noticed something that they didn't. 

The hospital gown that they had forced onto Kaidan didn't cover much. One could compare it to a curtain call for one's genitals, if worn backwards. Kaidan, who was wearing it properly, was still inadequately covered. What it did display was a purple bruise on one of Kaidan's ankles. The ankle in question was also swollen, most likely sprained. 

“Any idea how that happened?” Raph asked pointing to Kaidan's foot. 

Kaidan looked down, as did the others. He nodded but didn't say anything. Kaidan's mother just looked at Shepard who was busy trying to look at Kaidan's face. 

“Kaidan?” Shepard prompted. 

“Promise not to laugh?” Kaidan's voice was almost inaudible. “Or groan?” He looked at his mother. It was only after the entire room promised not to do either of those things he spoke. “I hit it on the side of the gurney as I was laying down on it.” 

Shepard's hands flew up to his face and he promptly fell backwards, laying flat across the bed. He did not groan though. One could say that the sound that came out of his mouth was a moan, and he would argue that it was. He did not groan. 

“You promised!” Kaidan said punching Shepard in the shoulder. 

“You should have been more careful.” Shepard's voice was muffled by his hands. 

“I'm going to see Steve.” Kaidan said in annoyance. He then got down and hobbled down the hall to Steve's room. Shepard was left alone with Kaidan's parents. Shepard didn't mind that. They were good people.

Kaidan's father sighed when he was finally gone. He turned to Shepard who was staring at the door. Kaidan's mother was fiddling with her finger nails. He rolled up to them and pat Shepard on his leg.

 

It didn't take long for Monday to creep up on them. Kaidan had spent the weekend with ice on his ankle and walking around with the assistance of a cane. He hadn't liked it, but considering that it would just make things worse to walk without it, he did it anyway. He did take the opportunity to catch up on his reading. His mother offered to stay with him, along with Shepard but he declined both and decided to fend for himself. 

When it was time for him to go to work, he did have a little more trouble. Getting in and out of the shower without putting weight on his foot wasn't that much of a challenge. Using his truck , however, proved to be something else entirely. He would have called a cab, but he didn't own a phone book, nor did he know their number by heart. So, in the end, he called Shepard to come get him. Shepard was more than willing to do it. In fact, he was practically beaming when he realized what Kaidan wanted him to do. 

It didn't take long for him to arrive at Kaidan's apartment building, nor did the trip up to the door. Shepard was his usual self and escorted him down instead of just texting him an 'i'm here' like a normal person. Then again, Shepard wasn't normal. It didn't take them too long to get to the garage. Jack was already there, working on her latest project. 

The music that she was paying was exceptionally loud. It wasn't Shepard's usual style of impeccable vocals harmonized with guitars and drums. No, hers was louder and more distorted. If anything it was more growling and less lyrics, which put Kaidan off immediately. Shepard glared at her then pointed to the cradle where her phone was resting. She smirked and shrugged. It was her way of saying 'you left'. Shepard sighed in defeat. He did leave. He helped Kaidan get to his desk then disappeared into his house. 

Steve pulled up in a new car. After he parked it, he got out and hopped to the back seat where he reached in and pulled out crutches. It was appropriate that Steve returns to work on crutches, but what was left for them to do? Steve could have Kaidan's job, hell he was good at it, but Kaidan was here and had no way of going home. He sighed and offered his seat to Steve. He then went to the tool box and waited for someone to yell for a particular tool. 

Shepard came out and saw him standing there, one hand on his cane the other on the tool box. Shepard stood confused for a second and then noticed Steve sitting at Kaidan's desk with an apologetic look on his face. Shepard didn't say anything, none of them did. The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

There was so much tension between all of them that they almost didn't notice Wrex sauntering in with Garrus by his side. Both men looked tired and frustrated. Almost like they had been chasing circles for so long that they couldn't walk a straight line. Jack ran up and cut her music, leaving Wrex's booming voice to echo through out the garage. 

“We found the car.” He said hanging his head. “Stolen.” 

Everyone in the room hung their head. This was a 'two steps forward one step back' moment for them. They found the car and the owner of said car, but not the driver. The driver stole the car for the specific purpose of hurting someone. They had no clue if the intended target was Steve or someone else, but the thought was enough to scare Kaidan. Wrex and Garrus couldn't say much more. Not that they had anything else to say. 

Once they were done relaying the news, Wrex and Garrus departed. Wrex, with the intention of going to Apollo's to get something to eat. Garrus, with the intention of going home to his wife and possibly passing out. Steve looked guilty, like it was his fault that everyone was feeling angry, tense and scared. Shepard saw the look on his face and got angry. 

“Don't you dare.” It came out almost a growl and aimed at Steve.

Steve didn't say anything, he just looked down. Kaidan looked at Shepard and Shepard looked at Jack. They didn't say anything but agreed that it was time to break for lunch. They all went to their usual spot and ordered their usual lunch. Ashley was there, as usual, and saw the gloom written on their faces. 

She decided to be generous. When she came back, after taking up their plates, she sat down a slice of pie in front of each of them. Shepard and Kaidan looked at her. She just smiled. “It's on the house.” They nodded and she walked away. 

The pie seemed to be what they needed. After enjoying their pie, the fog seemed to lift and they were back to playful jabs and light ribbing. Jack slid her phone back into her pocket when they arrived at the garage to make room for Shepard's. His music kept everything light. It was metal, sure, but the tone of it all was a lot less menacing. Both figuratively and literally. 

Kaidan's dad came to pick him up at the end of his shift. The beat up red car that he had since Kaidan was in high school stuck out like a sore thumb. Shepard chuckled when he saw it. It reminded him of so much. Kaidan's dad used to be the one to take them on dates because Shepard's parents were busy and Kaidan's mom would break down and cry. It was mostly because Kaidan was growing up and she thought he was doing it all too fast. All things considering, he had a good life. 

Kaidan put his cane in the floorboard once he entered the car. His dad was silent and taunt, which was never a good sign. The sun was high in the sky in the summer sky. It was getting closer and closer to August which was only evident by the sun going down a few minutes earlier. Raphael kept Kaidan out almost all day, running him to various places when all Kaidan wanted to do was go home. He was stalling and Kaidan knew that, but stalling for what. 

“Dad, what the hell are you doing?” Kaidan asked finally. 

“It'll be too hot for you to stand there.” Was the only answer he got. 

He didn't understand what his dad was trying to tell him. It was made evident by the look on his face. His dad just kept his look blank. The man was up to something, something he didn't want his mother to know about. Otherwise, she'd be here and he wouldn't have that dead look on his face. 

When the sun was finally starting to set they headed out in the car to their destination. The drive was a long one and it was a miracle that they made it there before it got dark. When they parked they were in the parking lot of a familiar cemetery. Kaidan knew this place from his childhood. His aunt, who had moved to Aquila from Canada, was buried here. Along with his grandmother, who had once again traveled from Canada but to be taken care of by her oldest daughter. Kaidan kept silent. _This isn't for me._ He thought. 

He got out of the car and followed his father closely. His dad opened the dark metal gate and allowed him to hobble inside. Once in he shut the gate, allowing them some sort of privacy. Kaidan followed his father up the rows till they got to the one that his aunt was buried in. They walked up to her in silence. Her picture was put onto the stone. She was young in that picture, in her thirties maybe, her long blonde hair curled in that ridiculous 70s fashion. 

His dad let out a sigh and patted the headstone. Kaidan just looked from his father to the grave as if it had the answers for him being there. His father continued down the line till they got to his grandmother. They had passed up other graves. Graves who's owner's names sounded familiar. His grandmother died when he was a teenager, not long before his aunt passed away. Her grave was simple, just like his aunt's. The coloring was not only the same, but so was the flowers that was laid on it. They were fake and were brilliant shades of pink. His dad did the same to that headstone as he did with his aunt's. 

“There's one more you should see, Kaidan.” His dad said. It was the only thing he said the entire time. He lead Kaidan down to a black headstone. It was the type that usually marks two graves instead of one. On one side, carved into the stone, was _Johnathan M. Shepard_. Underneath that was his birthday _April 11th_ followed by a dash. It was the other side that caught his attention next. He felt his eyes go wide as he recognized the writing. 

_Kaidan F. Shepard  
Born: February 12th 1983 Died: July 29th 2004_

Kaidan felt like he was going to be sick. He turned to his dad, his mouth hung open. His dad was looking at the ground. His hands were in his pockets. Kaidan's legs felt like lead. He dropped to his knees and just stared at the grave.

“Dad, what is this?” He asked his voice cracked a little. 

“You already know the answer.” His dad's voice was barely above a whisper. 

“This is my grave.” Kaidan said as he lightly traced his own name. “Why does it say 'Kaidan Shepard'?” 

His dad sighed and sat next to him. Now Kaidan understood why his father had that look on his face. He was going against his doctor's orders. “Because you and John were married.” It took him a while to look into his son's face. 

Kaidan just stared at his dad. He hoped that the man that held all the answers was going to explain it to him. His father looked back down at the grass. The sun was getting lower and lower in the sky. They would have to leave soon. 

“I went to a doctor back in Canada. He's a head trauma specialist.” His dad paused to take a deep breath and let it out. It was clearly hard for him to disclose what he did. “He told me that if people want their memories back then they should surround themselves with things that could possibly jog their memory. He also told me that whoever told you to stay away from pictures and to try to remember on your own didn't have your best interests at heart.” 

Kaidan was silent for a moment. His mind was filled with questions, but at the same time things were making sense in a horrific kind of way. He didn't know where to go from here. Should he tell Shepard? Probably. Would he tell Shepard? He didn't know if he could. He didn't know to be angry with his dad or to be relieved that he was willing to do what it took to take care of his son. Kaidan realized he was sitting on his hurt ankle and moved to get up. Raphael saw his struggle and went to help him. 

“It's getting late.” He said with a grunt. “I should take you home.” 

Kaidan nodded. “Yeah.” 

They moved back to the car in silence. Raphael helped Kaidan in before he got in himself. Kaidan sat quietly as they made their way back to his apartment. He was pondering about what to do next. Who to call. Naturally Shepard would have to be one of the first people he talks to. The marriage, would have to be the first topic. Was it annulled? If Shepard was considered a widower would it be reinstated when Kaidan came back? Kaidan decided to talk to Shepard about it tomorrow after work. 

He was anxious about it. The thought burrowed itself deep in Kaidan's mind and started to bother him. His father saw this and felt guilty. He was only trying to do the right thing. They arrived at Kaidan's apartment unexpectedly. Kaidan thanked his dad then went to the door. 

“Do you need me to pick you up tomorrow?” Raphael called, leaning out the window.

Kaidan smiled. “No dad. I'll have Shep do it.” 

Raphael leaned back in after giving a slight nod. Kaidan went up to his apartment using the elevator. He leaned back against the railing as it went slowly up. He didn't realize how tired he was till now. Once he got into his apartment he brushed his teeth, shucked off his pants and shoes and went to bed. 

 

He woke up the next morning to pounding on his door. “Kay?” Came a voice, a familiar one. He didn't bother to move. “Kay?” The voice sounded more worried. “Kaidan?!” Now the voice was really worried and he felt guilty. 

He went as fast as his achy, stiff body could take him. “I'm coming.” It hurt to put weight on his foot, but he didn't care at this point. He swung the door open. There fully dressed was John, his blue eyes filled with concern. 

“You look like hell.” His voice was steady but clearly he wanted Kaidan to make some sort of comment. It took Kaidan a moment to realize that Shepard was here to pick him up for work. Kaidan made a split second decision to talk to him about what had happened yesterday. 

Kaidan ushered him in. “You called didn't you?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Shepard said. His tone had a tone that reeked of 'of course I did you knit wit'. 

“You might want to tell Jack that she might be on her own today.” Kaidan said putting on a pot of coffee.

“Why's that?” Shepard's tone grew dark, but curious. 

Kaidan sighed. “We have to talk.” Kaidan could see Shepard's posture change from relaxed to stiff as a board from the corner of his eye. 

“About what?” Shepard realized that he was being stiff and tried to relax a little. He ended up shoving his hands in his back pockets. He held onto his wallet as if it were a life preserver. 

Kaidan waited until the coffee was done and poured him and Shepard a cup. He walked over with them and sat down, making sure to put one across from him. He gestured to the seat and didn't speak till Shepard sat down. 

“Is it annulled?” He asked looking down at his mug. 

Shepard stared at him. “Is what annulled?” 

“Our marriage.” Kaidan looked up in time to see Shepard's eyes go wide. “Are we still married?” 

Shepard looked down this time. “I don't know.” He looked like he was ashamed. “I was so happy when you returned, I didn't think to check.” 

Kaidan chuckled a bit. “I'm blaming Jack for not reminding you.” 

Shepard chuckled a bit too. “I'm blaming the entire _town_ for not reminding me.” They were silent again, but the air was a lot less thick. “We should probably go to the court house and check.”

“Do you have a time in mind?” Kaidan asked taking a sip of his coffee. 

“We could do it now. Get it over with.” Shepard suggested. 

“What happens if we are still married?” Kaidan asked. 

Shepard played with his mug. “I don't know. What ever you want to happen I guess.” 

Kaidan sat his mug gently down on the table. “My dad went to a doctor who told him that in order for me to get my memories back, I need to surround myself with familiar things and people. Well, the people part was implied.”

Shepard stared at him. “And?” 

Kaidan looked down for a second. When he looked up his eyes were filled with determination. “I want to live like I was before the fire. I don't remember anything during that time. I want to try.” 

Shepard stood up. His chair scrapped across the floor, making a loud sound. “Get ready. We'll go to the court house and see if our marriage was reinstated. If it was, we'll break the lease on this place and you'll stay with me. Like the good ol' days.” 

This took Kaidan by surprise. “And if we aren't?” 

“You'll still live with me. You'll just have to pay rent on a place you aren't even staying in.” Shepard replied without missing a beat. The sound of Shepard's cell phone suddenly ringing, startled them both. Shepard pulled it out of his pocket and hit answer, but only after he checked the caller I.D. “Hey Jack.” 

Kaidan smirked. They were so caught up in their own problems, they didn't realize that Shepard hadn't called Jack to tell her that he wasn't coming in today. He got up and took their mugs into the kitchen to be washed later and then went to get ready. When he came back, his hair brushed and him dressed, Shepard was leaning against the counter smirking. 

“Jack's considering throwing a party.” Shepard said once he saw Kaidan. 

“What for? We don't know if we're married yet.” Kaidan replied. He walked up to Shepard and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist. 

“The odds, however, are in our favor.” Shepard stated smuggly. Shepard resisted the urge to pry Kaidan off of him and guide him to the truck. Instead, he just smiled at him. “We should go if we're gonna.” 

Kaidan released him and took a quick step back. “We should.” Kaidan limped over to the door where his cane stood. 

 

By the time Shepard pulled up to the court house he was a big bundle of nerves. Kaidan could see Shepard's knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. He had no idea if that was a good thing. The building itself was an old brick building with a white tin looking roof. The steps and concrete were well kept and still a bleach white. Shepard sat there a second then turned to look at Kaidan. 

“You ready?” He asked. His anxiousness could be seen through his voice. Kaidan just nodded and Shepard got out. He went around the front and opened Kaidan's door, this time offering his hand to help him get out. After he shut the door, Shepard kept his hand on the small of Kaidan's back. 

It didn't take them long to find the clerk's office. There were other couples there. Standing in a line and sitting in the chairs, clearly waiting to be married. Shepard had not expected so many people to be there or he would have suggested a better time. Kaidan pecked him on the cheek, bringing Shepard's attention back to him. 

“You okay?” Kaidan asked quietly. 

“Yeah.” Shepard replied, looking around. “We'll probably be here a while.” Kaidan was about to agree when he heard Shepard's name being called from the desk. 

“Shepard, how can I help you?” The man the voice belonged to was in his early to mid thirties. He had brown hair and a brown goatee. Shepard grabbed Kaidan's hand and drug him to the desk the man was behind. 

“Legion!” Shepard said gleefully. “I was wondering if the state reinstated my marriage to Kaidan, seeing he's alive and all.” 

Legion looked at Kaidan and titled his head thoughtfully. He then began typing on his computer making slight clicking noises with his tongue. “The stated does indeed recognize your marriage to Kaidan as current and legal.” Legion said with a small smile spread across his face. 

Shepard beamed as the words left Legion's mouth. Kaidan didn't know how to feel about the revelation. He was glad, in one way. It meant that he still had some part of his old life. He had a feeling that this would be the gate way for everything to return to the way it was. Like Shepard would be more than willing to help and nothing but kind. His parents trusted him so strongly and they were, _are_ married. 

In another way he was scared. He had no clue what this would mean for them going forward. Shepard did tell him that if the marriage was reinstated that he would move in with him. He knew Shepard meant it. He just didn't know how long it would last. Would this be a happily ever after? There was only one way to tell. 

He looked at Shepard and let a grin come to his face. Shepard steered him to the exit and out to his truck. Shepard was practically vibrating out of his shoes he was so happy. Shepard helped Kaidan get back into the truck. Once Shepard was inside the initial high began to wear off and the need for reason came diving in. 

“What happens now?” Kaidan asked. “We go to my place, I pack some things, then we go to yours?” 

Shepard turned to Kaidan looking him dead in the eyes. “Kaidan, it's not just 'my place' anymore. It's your place too. It's _our_ place. It's home.” 

Kaidan let the words sink in. He could feel the sincerity radiating from Shepard. He was trying to convince himself that being nervous, while not inappropriate, was unnecessary. They were silent the ride back. Kaidan went up to his apartment to pack. He was just packing the essentials. Shepard shot a text to Jack as he was following him up, it didn't give anything away. Just that they had received the info they wanted. 

Jack spent the ride back to the house shooting him texts every few seconds. Shepard spent the ride ignoring them, and Kaidan spent the ride giggling because he could picture Jack's face. They were shocked to see a lot of cars parked on the street, and in the yard, when they pulled up to the house. From the looks of it, Jack had called pretty much all their friends. Shepard shook his head when he saw the people gathered inside his tiny garage. 

“Looks like there's gonna be a party.” Shepard said, stealing a glance at Kaidan.

“Sure does.” Kaidan replied smiling. 

Shepard opened the door and got out. He went around, took Kaidan's bag, then helped Kaidan down. He slung the dufflebag, an old one that had once been Shepard's, over his shoulder and took Kaidan's hand. There was a strong silence that fell over the crowd of friends, and it lasted till they were in the middle of the room. 

“We're still married!” Shepard yelled, raising their intertwined hands. Cheers erupted from the crowd. Kaidan was pretty sure he heard James go 'woohoo'. He certainly saw the man's massive arms shoot into the air. It took a while for the cheers to die down and when they did, people started asking questions. Not too personal, just what their plans were. 

Ash asked if Kaidan was moving in with Shepard, and Kaidan told her that he was going to try. Garrus asked if Shepard was going to break the lease, Shepard replied that he would only when Kaidan was ready. All in all, the prodding wasn't too bad. It was just that they were concerned for Kaidan. 

Shepard guided him into the house to rest a bit. Shepard put Kaidan's bag counter next to the sink. Kaidan sunk into one of the chairs while Shepard sat in the other one. Kaidan looked around at the kitchen, since his mind had been elsewhere the first time. The cabinets were made from a dark wood and had gold knobs for handles on them. The counter top was a white, fake wood pattern but it reflected the light really well. It was kind of like it was acting like an amplifier for the tiny window above the sink. 

“I know it isn't much,” Shepard said, “it was never much, but I hope you like living here.” 

Kaidan smiled. “Shepard, it's lovely.” 

Shepard was about to say something but Jack burst in. “Hey assholes, get out here so we can eat some cake.” 

Shepard looked at Kaidan who was already getting up. “Sorry bout today Jack. I just...I thought it was a good idea to come to work with a clear head. Ya know?” 

Jack let her face soften. “Hey, if it makes life return to normal, _normal_ normal, I'm cool with it.” 

Shepard got up and followed them out. In the garage were rows of tables, lined against the walls. On the tables were piles of food. It looked almost like a cook out at Wrex's. Shepard was surprised that this much food, and this many people, were gathered in his garage to eat, drink and be merry. There were no tables in garage so some people left the garage to stand and talk by their vehicles. Using the thousand pound machines as make shift counters. 

Kaidan was just as surprised to see their friends as much as Shepard. There were so many, Joker and Edi, James and Ashley, even Javik came to see if the couple still shared taxes. Jack took Kaidan's phone from his back pocket and started scrolling through it. 

“Hey!” Kaidan said trying to reach for his phone. Jack kept skirting just out of reach. 

“I'm trying to find some good tunes.” She said as if it would explain everything. “It's not a party without tunes.” 

“Not a good one at least.” Joker yelled to them. 

Kaidan sighed and hung his head. He was admitting defeat. Shepard took Kaidan's hand and led him to the food. The tables had all of their favorites. Shepard immediately went for the home made taco's that Jack some how always managed to get right. There was pizza, bacon, pecan pie, chicken cooked in three different ways, chocolate cake made by James, banana pudding and much much more. 

Jack put on some classic rock, most likely a compromise, and began to dance. Shepard and Kaidan filled their paper plates to the brim, then walked over to the steps to sit down. They ate listening to what was going on around them. Kaidan was working on his cake when he got the courage to ask Shepard a very important question. 

“Sleeping arrangements?” His voice was kind of muffled by the cake. 

Shepard coughed a bit. “Excuse me?”

“Where am I going to sleep?” Kaidan looked down at his plate. 

“In my bed with me.” Shepard said bumping Kaidan's shoulder with his own. “Look, I'm not expecting good morning kisses and sex. I'm not expecting you to do anything that you're not comfortable with. All I want is for you to be happy. If you want me to take the couch, I'll take the couch.”

Kaidan looked up from his plate and glanced at Shepard. His eyes were wide with shock. “I don't want to run you out of your bed.” 

Shepard put his plate down and turned to face Kaidan. “Everything in this house, and I do mean everything, is just as much yours as it is mine. It always has been. Some day you'll remember that, or you'll believe me, either way until then I'm going to keep saying it.”

He took a deep breath then said “You can watch whatever you want on the tv any time you want. I don't care. You can take a shower any time you want, I don't care. You can rearrange the entire fucking house, _I don't care_. I want you to be happy.”

Kaidan started to tear up. He didn't realize just how badly he needed to hear those words. He was so worried that Shepard would expect things to magically go back to the way they were before he lost his memory, that he didn't see Shepard's reaction. He saw them but he had a hard time figuring out what they meant. 

“I'm sorry.” He said looking at his hands. “I just thought...” 

“I know.” Shepard said wrapping his arm around Kaidan's shoulders. “You thought I'd expect too much. Take your time. Get comfortable. We will do this one day at a time. We'll go at your pace.” 

Kaidan wiped his face with his hand. “Shepard,” He began, “you are the greatest boyfriend a guy could ask for.” 

Shepard chuckled. “I know.” 

Kaidan tried not to laugh and it ended up coming out as a snort. “Don't Han me.”

“I'll Han you if I want.” Shepard said kissing Kaidan's temple. “Come on, let's party.” 

 

It took a while for the party to wind down, and everyone to go home. Most of their friends left their left overs for Kaidan and Shepard to eat so they could spend more time trying to regain Kaidan's memories and less arguing about who's going to cook. Jack went home with a Miranda, shooting Shepard one last smile before she did. 

Shepard ushered Kaidan to the couch, so he could rest and stop making his ankle worse. Kaidan pulled up his pants leg and looked at it. It had swelled up again and it hurt to put the slightest bit of weight on it. Kaidan knew Shepard had noticed it was bothering him during the party. It was one reason that he sad down often and refused to dance. Shepard handed him the remote, telling him to remember what he said earlier. Kaidan did. He found the channel of the local news and decided to get caught up in semi current events. He just felt guilty that Shepard had to do all the cleaning up. 

Once the garbage was cleaned up, Shepard moved Kaidan's stuff to the bedroom. It was his old room, upstairs. He put Kaidan's bag down next to the closet and went back downstairs to sit on the couch with his husband. He smiled at that. That one simple word. A word that meant nothing to some people was bringing him such intense joy. The party had taken a lot out of him. It probably had taken a lot out of their tight group too. When he entered the living room he saw Kaidan with his shoes off and feet on the couch. 

“How's your ankle?” Shepard asked. 

“Swollen again. I just have to stay off of it for a while.” Kaidan replied. He turned his head to face Shepard. “We need rings.”

Shepard laughed and raised his husband's feet up so he could sit down, then lowered them onto his lap. “No point in hiding it is there?” 

Kaidan shook his head. “Nope.” 

They sat on the couch for what felt like ages. They had spent their time talking. Shepard rubbed Kaidan's feet while they talked. He was careful around Kaidan's ankle, making sure not to put pressure on it or to pull Kaidan's foot a certain way. It was almost 10:30 when they looked at the clock. 

“Jesus Christ. That late already?” Shepard asked. 

“Looks like it.” Kaidan responded. “I guess it's time for bed. We have to get up early in the morning.” Kaidan moved to get up. 

“Whoa whoa, hold on a minute.” Shepard said grabbing Kaidan's arm. “You are not going back to work until that ankle is healed up mister.” Shepard's tone was a 'I'm not having any back talk either'. 

“Okay.” Kaidan stated after a minute. “But I want to sleep next to my incredibly kind, loving husband before he goes to work.” 

Shepard smiled and helped Kaidan get ready for bed before getting ready himself. Once he was in bed next to his man, reality sunk in. It had been almost twelve years since Shepard called Kaidan husband. It had been almost twelve years since they shared a bed. Now, all of a sudden here they were, wrapped in each other's embrace. It was satisfying and horrifying all at the same time. Shepard told himself that he wasn't going to lose Kaidan again. He was going to bring him back, and nothing was going to stop him.


	10. Chapter 10

I must apologize for the incredibly long wait. I know I should put this in the notes, but I feel like it's been too long for my explanation to not be put in the chapter. Though I hate when people do it, it belongs here. I'll try to make this short. I lost my internet, got a new phone, forgot my AO3 password, forgot my email password and connected it to my phone, lost service on said phone, got _another_ phone, got service on old phone, recovered email and recovered AO3 account. Now we're here.

There is more that you loyal followers should know. I am deeply unsatisfied with this story to the point where I don't find it fun any more. I want to finish what I started and I truly enjoy the premise of this tale. There are just some things that I want to change. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to do it, but I have faith that I will figure it out.

When I started this story I had a basic idea of what I wanted but I didn't think it through. The product we have here is sloppy and dreadful as a result. I am curious as to how you guys want me to go about this, leave this story up and create a better version or completely replace it. It may take longer for me to write RM 2.0 but I feel we all deserve it. Thank you for putting up with my foolishness and taking the time to read this dumpster fire.

****

P.S. I know it looks like I hate this story, but I don't. I'm just disappointed in its life choices.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks you for reading this story. お時間をいただき、ありがとうございます. Please leave a review. And suggestions on the name of the town. Eventually I'll pick the best one and use it in the story. Thanks to KaariJGib on fanfiction for giving me the inspiration to write this story. Once again ARIGATOU GOZIMASU!


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